The Greatest Distance
by A five-bird
Summary: CHAPTER 18 NOW UP! Buffy and Spike are finally getting things figured out between the two of them but a new prophecy changes everything. Can Spike hold it all together?
1. Yesterdays

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Joss does and I probably won't get my hands on them legally any time soon.  
  
It's certainly not the night for Slaying, I think to myself as I settle in against a cold marble headstone, bored with walking, stalking, and swinging waiting for any sign of vamps, demons or the like. The whole night is just not going well. First I trip over the mat on the front porch of my house and tumble down the stairs, then I get mud all over my self when I fall into a enormous puddle and tear a hole in my jacket with my stake. Maybe it's like Friday the 13th or something. No, only Thursday and it's the 7th. Who knows, maybe Thursday the 7th is the Buffy Summers bad luck day. Luckily it's really not that terrible of a night weather wise, balmy yet not horrendously humid, and the stars. Oh god these stars are beautiful, the thousands upon thousands of them hanging there looking down upon me. Somebody once said that all of our yesterdays, every single one since the day we were born is stored up there. Glistening and just waiting for someone to stumble upon it and reveal it all over again. If time travel was possible it would be there, hidden in the depths of space where no one has been, just waiting for us all to go and claim the stars as our own. The past as our own, and yet it amazes me, if indeed a star holds our past, how I would love to see mine. I pull at the grass with my fingers and nibble on the ends of the clover that I find, it's sweet and I wonder if many people know it. I really have got a lot on my mind, and although I've been trying to suppress it, so far at least, it hasn't seemed to work.  
  
Two days ago I was watching Passions with Dawn and Spike, what a stupid show, well, it honestly wasn't that bad, I only uphold that opinion in public. Can't have people thinking I'm a teenybopper soap opera fan now can I? I wonder when it was that Dawn and Spike started getting so close and think that maybe, just maybe, if she weren't my little sister I'd be a little jealous. Yes, I have feelings for Spike; I admitted that to myself a long time ago but wouldn't do anything about it. I can't tell anyone, they would all certainly freak out at the thought of Spike and I together. The Scoobies all hate Spike, which I guess is understandable from a certain view point, but then again, I got over Spikes stupid past behavior, I wish they could too. Dawn probably would be happy about it but I don't want to give her hope for something that will never happen, and Spike, oh Spike, he's completely amazingly perfect for me, in every way but every way if that makes sense. We fight all of the time, even if that fighting leads to other so much more desirable things half of the time. We're always making little vocal jabs at each other. Not that I mind it that much. He's got these annoying nicknames for everyone. Pet, Luv, Nibblet, Slayer, Watcher, etc, etc, that actually I have kind of grown to love. Not to say it wouldn't be nice if he could use normal names every once in awhile. I can't help but smile while thinking of him but shake my head in remembrance at the thought of Angel. What was the one bad thing about Angel? He got all happy, yes, my fault I fully admit for making him feel complete, and tried to kill everyone. Well, not everyone, just my friends, family, and well, I certainly don't need that happening again. That's the only reason I can't get involved with Spike, sure he didn't have a soul to begin with, and I'm not sure if anything could happen to cause him to go all psycho, but I can't put them all in that position again. It's only too bad that there isn't some other way.  
  
I've picked all of the grass that I can reach from where I'm sitting and figure that I've had enough Slaying for one night. I've been out for 3 hours and have only dusted 2 vamps. The first one being so stupid that I could have handed him the stake and he would have killed himself and the second one just slow. It's amazing how some nights I can come out here and it's buzzing with unlife and other nights I can walk around for hours and see nothing. I wonder what the determining factor for vampires is regarding if you go out or stay in? Is there some secret vampire and demon code that only they know about? Okay, fifteen of you can go out on Tuesdays, six on Wednesdays, two on Thursdays and forty on Saturdays; I mimic reading from the imaginary vampire demon guideline book. I am soon standing in front of Spikes crypt without even knowing really how or why I walked in this direction. It isn't exactly the fastest way out of the cemetery and I secretly hope he'll open the door as I walk past to invite me in but I won't just go in, no I promise myself that I won't be the first one to make a move. I can almost imagine him on the other side of that door sprawled across that secondhand armchair half naked and I shiver, yep, I need to go soon before I end up begging him to let me touch that beautiful body of his.  
  
Ah, something to finally do, a couple of vamps have somehow gotten a hold of a woman and are tearing at her clothes. Thank god for Spider senses because mine tingles just long enough for me to spin around at the approach of another baddie and dust him before he even knows what has happened. The other two are now looking up from their would be prey obviously a little miffed at my sudden appearance. I love this moment, when they know that I am going to stop them dead in their tracks. The expressions on their faces are priceless. I've heard of these two vamps before, not just cold blooded killers, but perverted killers; raping their victims before draining them. I've seen what's been left of their little sex toy snacks before and it isn't pretty. What I can't exactly figure though is why this woman would be in the cemetery at midnight. Ok, the stupid vamp I dusted earlier is no longer the most idiotic of the night, this woman gets the title hands down because now she's slapping the leader of the two repetitively trying to win her release. At this point lady, I think as I approach, I don't think slapping the big bad vampire is going to help you much.  
  
"You two again? I should have known that you'd be out trying to piss me off somehow."  
  
"Well Slayer, I was afraid you weren't going to show." The leader of the two took a step forward, temporarily forgetting his prey and allowing the woman to escape. I watch her pull her torn clothes regally around her and sidestep her captors. The lesser of the vampire's watches greedily as his departing meal runs sobbing down the line of crypts and headstones. He turns angrily back to face me, mad that I took away his one chance at feeding for the night. Hell, by the look in his eyes, he seems to know that there won't be another chance ever again for him to feed.  
  
"I'm really rather crushed," I begin, cutting a slow half circle around the undead pair, juggling the stake between my two hands. "You didn't invite me to your little snack party."  
  
"What fun would that have been? Of course if you really want to join our 'snack party'" he emphasized the words dryly "I'm sure it could be arranged" he licked his lips in one final gesture, making sure to show the brilliant white fangs beneath.  
  
"You know as much fun as this is, our little chit chatting" I continued now bored with the conversation and ready to get on to a little action, "I think I'd rather just get it over with so will you just attack me already?"  
  
So perhaps this wasn't the best idea to just jump into a fight without gauging my adversaries first, because now I'm here on the ground lying in one of the vamps ashes and being pressed every more intently down by the other vampire. I still can't exactly figure out how I got in this position, one minute I'm kicking the shit out of him and a couple seconds later I'm without stake, hands held above my head and defenselessly being choked. Yeah Thursday the 7th is definitely the new Buffy bad day, I think to myself and suddenly realize I probably should stop trying to fight. I'm not getting anywhere and I'm losing a lot of oxygen, fast. I think I'm going to need all of the air I have left just to think of a way out of this. This joke of a vampire should never have been able to get the upper hand and I wonder what happened. Fighting, fighting, boom, being choked. Oh well, will have time to think of that later, for now how am I ever going to get out of this. I don't want to be killed by a vampire that's probably not even twenty years old. Not that I want to die at all, but I certainly don't want to be killed by some inexperienced youngster. I survived the Master, so I can survive this right? Right?  
  
"Looks like I'm gonna kill me a Slayer. You know what they say about Slayer blood right? Sweet, powerful, better than any other blood in the world."  
  
"Wouldn't...bet...it."  
  
Shit, my lungs are starting to burn, like fire growing inside of me and I close my eyes only to find that I am now unable to re-open them. I need to think of something, anything, but my mind if fuzzy like I've had too many drinks and I can't function. My body is starting to convulse and I try to fight once again, but there is nothing left to fuel my muscles and I will my arms and legs to move but they do not, they will not. I can feel the unmistakable feel of his lips against my skin and the tugging of sharp teeth as they strain against my neck. Soon my blood will be flowing freely through him and I can only hope that he will loosen his grip and give me a chance to escape. No air, not thoughts, not noise, no...Vampire? The weight is gone from my throat but I am still unable to move although I take in a much-needed breath. The night air feels cool and wet in my lungs and I listen as what sounds like an argument goes on overhead. Slowly my senses are coming back to me, first my touch as I can feel the hard ground below me, then I can smell the grass and dirt of the graveyard once again and I never thought anything would smell so good. It's quieter now, nothing but the sounds of the frogs and the crickets off in the distance and of course my loud coughing from the lack of air.  
  
"Oh Bloody Hell"  
  
I hear the familiar voice above me and open my eyes to see Spike frowning down at me. I have never been so glad to see him in my life and I take the hand offered to me and pull myself up to meet him, clinging to him for support and I immediately embrace him. Our bodies fit perfectly together as I hold him close, still coughing every once and again, and not very strong on my feet yet, but so incredibly happy to just hold him. Minutes later, as soon as I can breathe steadily once again he pulls away from me.  
  
"What was your goal tonight Slayer? Was it to die? Cause you almost did." He takes his hand from mine and we start walking.  
  
"Oh Spike, relax," the moment has passed and I'm no longer able to rely on him for support, and unhappily it seems we're back to out war of words. "I was just about to charm him with my feminine wiles."  
  
"I'm sure you were" he's angry with me I can tell and I can't imagine why. Well, I guess my lack of fighting skills, for whatever reason, would do it. I watch him pull the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and spark one instantly. If only he wouldn't smoke, well, maybe I'll have to work on him regarding that.  
  
"Well Spike, at least you'll never have to worry about Cigarettes killing you."  
  
That's it? Why can't I come up with anything better to say than that? Well, I think it's because I just don't want to fight. I wish I could just say Spike, lets go back to your crypt and make love. Yeah, that's really the most romantic line of the year, I roll my eyes at the thought. Let's go back to your CRYPT and make love? Okay Buffy, whatever.  
  
"Very funny pet, aren't you just the hilarious one tonight" he snorts in return "not that you aren't a riot all of the damn time." He pauses to consider himself and I wonder what it is that he is thinking. "Then again," he finally continues and I get my answer "of course it could just be the incredible lack of oxygen." He laughs at the comment and I can't help but think of how innocently sarcastic he is.  
  
"Was there something that you wanted?" this should get a rise out of him I think to myself as he stops dead in his tracks.  
  
"Wanted? WANTED? I saved your life back there luv, you should be showering me with thanks for that. A minute more and you'd have been an ex- slayer."  
  
There's a tinge of anger in his voice and I can't help but chuckle at him getting so worked up over something so stupid. We've been walking side by side now for a little while, clearly in the general direction of his crypt, and I really don't seem to have the best balance right now because I keep stumbling but thankfully he's there to always prop me back up. I can see his face in the moonlight and I think once again of how easy it would be for me to just tackle him to the ground and go at it right here and now. He's always the same, that mop of bleached blond hair, the sharp lines of his face, those sick smiles of his that are so irritatingly annoying but yet at the same time always so perfect. The same old Spike I've always known and in the beginning hated. The same old Spike that I love so much at this very moment. I bring my self from my thoughts with a yawn.  
  
"Thanks for saving me" I finally put forth although he doesn't seem to respond and so I try another jab "I see you've been following me around again"  
  
Well," he starts as he pulls the crypt door open and motions for me to get inside. "Someone bloody well had to, you see the trouble that you get yourself into. And if I may ask, how in hells name did you get into that little problem back there? Hmm?"  
  
I continue to stand in front of Spikes home, considering taking him up on the offer of joining him inside but knowing that it would lead to things that shouldn't be led to. He's standing there; glowing in the moonlight with his duster draped over one arm and his hands resting on his sides. I can't help but trace a path from his face down to his arms and chest, further down to his abs and... Okay, Buffy! I snap back up to catch a slight smile on his face that I know all too well and finally I just shake my head, knowing what that smile leads to.  
  
"I.." I stutter "I've got to get to the Bronze. Willow, Tara and Xander are um..Waiting."  
  
It's not a complete lie; they should still be there, although technically they aren't waiting for me I guess I could make an appearance. I have really got to stop thinking about Spike that way one of these days. Not that I don't want to think of him that way, it's just not safe to think of him that way. Those types of thoughts get me into trouble. It also wouldn't hurt to get some sleep either, maybe that's part of the problem.  
  
"Well, your loss, I've got a bottle of some cheap whiskey and a full three hours worth of chick flicks. You're welcome to stay luv, you know that."  
  
"Or, you can come to the Bronze with me, if you want to." I add but don't really know why. He probably won't except and then I'll just feel rejected. I'm not even sure I want Spike there, after all things have happened between us at the Bronze in the past and surely could happen again. I'm surrounded by memories. Well at least you could never say we had a dull sex life. I smile to myself and am surprised when he closes the door and turns to face me.  
  
"Ok Slayer, you've got a date."  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
It's strange like I can almost feel her outside my crypt even though I know that she isn't there. I can imagine her there, standing in the dark wishing for me to open the door to her, wishing for me to take her in my arms and make love to her. For a second I almost believe my own fantasies that she is there, just waiting on the other side of that old metal barrier and I allow myself stupidly to go to the door and throw it open. Yep, just as I expected no one there but the other dead residents of Sunnyhell, I should have known better, I shouldn't have let my mind run like that. It's when I'm thinking that deeply that I get into trouble, so I close the door, well, slam the door is more like it, and retreat back to my favorite chair. Sure it's seen its better days and unlike soda; blood, when spilled on fabric isn't that easy to get out, but I love it just the same. I throw myself into the broken down piece of furniture, hanging myself upon it like an old coat just tossed aside. Sure, that's what I am. A man tossed aside only picked up when something is needed from me, like money from the coat pocket, except for I'm something like the fighting sex coat. No, that didn't quite make sense. Well, I guess in my own mind it did. What am I needed for besides to fight along side the stupid Scoobies and for Buffy's sexual tension. The second, I have to say that while I wish things could be different between she and I, I'd take anything she'd throw at me. Any crumb at all, and sexual crumbs are graciously accepted. I take another long draw from my cheap bottle of whiskey, following with a pull from my fag. This, I think to myself, will probably be the extent of my night. Oh lucky me.  
  
It's been an hour and I seem to be getting on a pretty good buzz by now, drinking games just aren't as fun when there's only one person involved. Sure you get drunk a lot quicker but other then that there's not many high points. I feel like fighting and so it's a wonder when I hear someone screaming for help not so far away. Something to do, finally, so I pull myself from the chair and head to the door but it's not soon before I realize that I am probably going to be needing a shirt at some point and so I grab one before pulling the door shut behind me. A fight is just what I need to clear my mind; put my life into some perspective, well; basically just have a little fun. There's a woman running my way at a fairly great speed and I don't think she sees me and so I think I'll just scare her a little bit. However as she nears me I can tell that she's already been terrified enough for one night and probably doesn't need little ol' me jumping out of the bushes at her. Wouldn't do anything to hurt her, just give her a good jolt. I second guess my plan and let her pass me by unscathed. There's still signs of a fight that I can hear up ahead but I am in no real hurry to get there, I'll have my fun, I figure and secretly wonder if the Slayer has already beat me too it. No, can't be because I can hear a heart beat that's slowly lessening and it certainly wouldn't be Buffy. Too bad, I was rather looking forward to meeting her tonight.  
  
What I see when I finally turn the corner freezes me mid stride. I'd recognize my slayer anywhere and she's certainly, by the sound of the weak heartbeat, not doing overly well. The vampire holding her looks up at me but continues to press himself upon my slayer and I let a growl escape from my throat warning him that he has one chance to let her go but he decides that I'm not a threat and doesn't heed my warning. Must be new in town, you don't mess with me if you know who I am. You just don't mess with William the Bloody. Moments later I am upon him, tearing him from the Slayer and throwing him a good twelve feet only to watch him bounce off of a think granite statue and come racing back at me. Little bastard, certainly a fighter, but not that strong and I wonder how he got the upper hand over Buffy. He's fast though and I catch a blow to my face before pummeling him into the dirt. Of course I wouldn't have brought a stake, I was a little put off that in my drunken state I hadn't even thought to bring one, but certainly far form drunk now I immediately shift to game face. There are other ways for Vampires to kill Vampires and although just draining him wont do it, draining him and leaving him to watch the sunrise will. Immediately my fangs are in his neck and soon he is too weak to even pull away. I leave him lying in the grass unconscious and run to Buffy's side.  
  
"Oh bloody hell"  
  
Her eyes open at the sound of my voice and I am glad that she is at least strong enough to move. I don't know much about being choked seeing as how I've never been so myself, but she finally is able to take my hand and I pull her to her feet. Her arms are immediately around me and I can't help but pull her closer to me and breathe her in. She smells so wonderful, Vanilla and Lavender as always and I can't but take a second to press my face into her golden locks. So soft and clean and well, a little bit full of grass and dirt but still so beautiful. Finally I am just hugging her, holding her tightly and amazingly she doesn't pull away. If I could choose one moment to live in forever it would be this one, alone with my slayer. In the perfect world of course I would be able to lift her in my arms, carry her the couple hundred feet back to the crypt, lay her down and make sweet love to her for the rest of my life never letting her go at all. I probably shouldn't be thinking about this now because I can see it is having some affects on me physically. Being this close to her and all, so regretfully I pull away before something happens to ruin this perfect moment. Instantly I'm angry with her for almost getting killed and I can't help but voice my opinion. I'm angry because had I not came out to fight, she wouldn't have lived though the night. I'm angry because I almost lost her.  
  
"What was your goal tonight? Was it to die? Because you almost did?"  
  
Probably not the best way to start off the conversation, and yes of course now things are not all lovey dovey between us, they're strained as we bicker back and forth like we usually do. Can't we just stop for one minute? She counters my question with some sarcastic comment or other and it goes on as such, not angry sarcasm thank god, but what seems like a sad attempt at joking flirtatious sarcasm from the both of us. What is this world coming to when a bad ass vampire like myself flirts with a slayer? Well, there's something, at least she's thanking me for saving her life. Well, she should be, I held her life in my hands all I had to do was ignore her and that would be another Slayers life gone due to me in some part. No, who am I kidding? I wouldn't never hurt her or allow her to be hurt by another. Killing the Slayer this time isn't in my best interest, I love her way too much.  
  
We've reached my crypt and I wonder if she realizes that she is the one that led us here. Probably not, I'll probably catch hell for even suggesting that she come in but I do it anyway and strangely, there's no reply. She looks to be deep in thought and I can only wonder what she's thinking about. No, I think I've got a pretty good idea of where her mind is as I watch her scan me ever so slowly. Her eyes reach my waist and I'm praying to god that she'll either go further with her perusal or just come in so that I can go a little further with mine. Suddenly she jerks her eyes back up to my face and I can't help but smirk a little. She was checking me out and it was clearly obvious that she was enjoying it. I get way too excited over these little crumbs that she throws my way and I wonder what will happen now that I caught her in the act. Maybe a fight? A couple careless words thrown around between us? I once again invite her in, this time verbally instead of just the motion, in case she somehow missed the previous invitation but she declines. Damn it. I even tried to make it sound a bit appealing, a bit of wine, well, whiskey...maybe a chick flick or two? Light porn could be considered a chick flick couldn't it? Maybe it's best if she doesn't come in, even if things happen between us I'll only wake up alone tomorrow. Wait? Did she just say she wanted me to go to the Bronze with her? No, she wouldn't ask me to go with her to meet her friends at the Bronze. Not that I so much want to see the wanker you understand, and the witches would be okay, but she's just throwing out crumbs like crazy tonight and I do a sort of mental double take before accepting her invitation and pulling the door closed once again. 


	2. Perfect

Disclaimer: I still do not own any part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Joss and multiple other people do. I also would like to add that I don't make any money off of this and probably never will.  
  
As much as I hate to admit that this wasn't probably the best idea; inviting Spike to the Bronze with me, oh my god it's been nothing but a huge mistake. I don't know what came over me in the first place to just blurt out an invitation to him, and perhaps if it had been just he and I; I wouldn't regret it but the way things have been going I would rather be anywhere but here. I guess I have to give Spike an A+ for effort but they all fail in communication and tolerance skills. From the moment I walked in with Spike by my side there has been nothing but fighting. Dawn is the only one here that is civil to Spike and even though I was a little miffed at first about her being out so late; I am so thankful that she's here to help keep my friends in check. I pretty much had to physically restrain both Xander and Spike from tearing each other's arms off and I wish that just for me they could get along. They're both so bullheaded that it's no wonder they can't give up ground to the each other, I just wish that for my sake Xander could hold his temper and Spike could hold his tongue.  
  
Finally the two of them are sitting; not exactly quietly, but at least they're sitting. Dawn is beside Xander and I am beside Spike trying to keep each of them calm. Can't we just have a nice talk between us without feeling the need to dust or behead anyone?  
  
I love the Scoobs to death but sometimes I just want to slap them all upside the head. I wonder what they would say if I went out with Spike. I know what they would say, and it wouldn't be supportive. I feel a little bad about caring about what they think so much but after all, they are my friends, the only ones I have and I don't think I should alienate them for a member of the Vampire population again. No matter how much I care for this particular Vampire. For this man, not a monster as I've sometimes foolishly referred to him in the past as, a man. Spike and I have known each other for such a long time and it only seems right that things get deeper from here. We've been friends, we've been lovers, and doesn't it only seem right that we're together? Obviously it's going to take a little more work on both Spikes part, regarding how much he dislikes the Scoobies; and The Scoobies part regarding how much they really don't like Spike before that could even possibly happen.  
  
"So Buffy" Dawn begins and I smile thankful that she's trying to help "how'd patrol go? Spike says you had a run in with a Vampire and that you almost died?"  
  
So much for sitting somewhat quietly, Dawn immediately realizes that mentioning dying probably wasn't the best idea, and Xander is once again in Spikes face threatening him with miscellaneous demises.  
  
"Damn you undead! Off messing around and not doing your job huh? You almost got Buffy killed by leaving her alone like that. What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Oh sod off won't you?"  
  
I can only shake my head at Xanders misunderstanding about Spike's being there. Why has he got to always jump to conclusions when Spike is involved?  
  
"Xander, Spike saved me!"  
  
Immediately Xander is back in his chair and surprisingly is apologizing to Spike. Why would he do that? I don't know but I'm completely fine with it and at least he appears to be ready to hear the story of my almost death.  
  
"Spike and I weren't patrolling together," I'm addressing everyone of the group now hoping to get through to them and maybe just maybe give Spike a little credibility in their eyes. "I was by myself when I came upon two vamps about to kill some woman and so I attacked them. I can't exactly say why I ended up being choked," now Spike was also attentively listening "but I would have died if Spike" I for some reason or other lay my hand across his knee "hadn't been out walking around. He saved me guys so if your going to be mad at anyone be mad at me for sucking at slaying tonight."  
  
Everyone seems to be a little suspicious of Spike's reasons for walking around the cemetery at midnight in the general area of my slaying but they say nothing, probably because they know I'll only defend him. I guess they're right because I would defend him. The more I think about it the more I see no reason for me not to take a chance on Spike. The Soul thing is pretty much all that's standing in my way and even then I try to remind myself that he doesn't have one in the first place so he can't lose it. I just wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to him to change him the way that Angel losing his soul changed him. Yeah, the soul thing and the fact that I seem to hurt everyone that I get involved with and I don't want to do that to him. I couldn't bear to give him real hope and then not live up to his expectations. I've hurt everyone else so in why not him too. I see that he has placed his hand beside mine on his knee and I wish I could just let myself go and leave my hand beside his but it would be too much of a risk and so sadly I pull it away. For a brief moment he looks hurt but quickly steels himself against all emotion. He and I are way too much alike for our own good. No I care about him way too much to hurt him the way I've hurt all of the others; I won't allow myself to.  
  
"You're okay though right?"  
  
"Yeah Will I'm fine, just a little shook up is all. I can't figure out why I lost the fight. I don't even remember the when the tables turned from his imminent death to mine."  
  
"Thank you Spike...for ah..Saving Buffy. God only knows for what reason you would but thank you nonetheless."  
  
"Sure.." He seemed to be a bit thrown with the last of her words. "Anytime."  
  
"You agree right Xander?"  
  
"Uh"  
  
"Good enough," she continued turning to Tara "Wanna dance?"  
  
Well I have to give props to Willow for at least trying to help out instead of making it worse as she very possibly could have and I wonder to myself if she would ever go so far as to actually accept Spike. Maybe if I could prove to her how much exactly I care for him and how he isn't such a bad guy. A vampire yes, but not a bloodthirsty killer that cares nothing for anyone. It could take awhile but I think it's worth a chance. She doesn't seem to always dislike Spike, only occasionally when things are misunderstood or not explained.  
  
She and Tara have since departed from the couch and I'm sitting here now with Dawn, Spike, and Xander although it appears that Xander is going to excuse himself from us to make a call to Anya. Well, I'm sure that it's not just that he wants to call Anya, more so I think he just wants to get away from Spike. Fine by me, because the less stress I have in my life the better. Spike has been sitting silently for awhile now no doubt taking in everything as it comes and goes. The one thing I really am glad about in our relationship, Spikes, and mine, even though there's not much of a relationship as relationships go is that he knows everything there is to know about me. He knows both the good and the bad. I don't have to hide anything from him because he knows where I'm coming from, I can talk to him about Slayer issues because he understands it, and I can talk to him about family and friends because he knows them all well. I can talk to him about Angel, and even though he hates it, he understands Angel and he understands Angels past and mine. Not that I want to talk about Angel really, seeing as how I haven't thought about Angel romantically for a long while now. I haven't thought about anyone romantically for awhile now; no one that is, except for Spike.  
  
I'm surprisingly a little bit tired, which I think is a little bit strange for me because lately I've gotten into some strange sleeping habits; not going to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning and all. I read and think a lot but for the life of me I can't sleep, even when I shut off the lights and close my eyes. I just seem to lie awake for hours on end thinking and planning and then thinking a little bit more but never getting anywhere and by the time I finally do manage to fall asleep I've forgotten everything that I've discovered anyway. It never used to be this bad but I can't help the feeling that something major is going to happen. It's like how you feel the night before a big trip, or before you see someone you haven't seen in a long time and because you're so excited you can't sleep. That's how I've been feeling recently but there's no real reason why I should. It's not like it's only been a couple days either, it's been more like a couple weeks. I'd love to just go home and try to get some sleep although that would mean ditching out on the gang not to mention Spike and I don't exactly feel good about doing that. I invited him here and so I should at least have the decency to stay for awhile. I can't help but yawn although it's not like I'll be able to sleep once I get home anyway even though I can't help but believe so now.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Dawn's gone off to meet a couple of her friends and Buffy looks like she could fall over and be perfectly happy sleeping on the floor. I'm not quite sure what I should do seeing as how it's been a reasonably good day and I'd hate to ruin it now by suggesting that I take her home. Nothing intended by 'taking her home' I just think that she sure looks like she could use some sleep. I wonder if she's been sleeping any better since I last talked to her a couple days ago. She doesn't look sleep deprived but I can only guess that's the Slayer in her at work trying to cover up that fact. I wonder if she's going to allow me to escort her home or if I'm going to need the Scoobies help. I hate knowing that I may have to ask them for help in regards to something I can do perfectly well myself. My Slayer has been pretty reasonable so far and I only wonder when I'm going to blow it and send her off into defense pose again.  
  
I take her arm in mine and I lift her from the couch; steadying her against me as we walk I think that maybe getting choked had more of a lasting effect on her than she's willing to admit. She looks at me but for the first time in ages I can't read her mind and it drives me mad knowing that she's closed off for the time being. However she doesn't seem to mind as I lead her to the door, I say screw telling the "Scoobies" anything about our departure, I'm sure they'll be at the house in no time anyway as they seem to live there and so we continue out of the club.  
  
"Sorry...wanted to talk but...tired" she manages to squeeze out before yawning again  
  
"S'ok luv, later."  
  
I lift her in my arms just as she closes her eyes and although yes I have to say I'm a little disappointed that we won't get to spend the evening conversing, I'm still with her and that'll do for now. We must make an interesting pair I think as I walk towards Revello, to those who know us anyway, being the Vampire that I am, and she being the Vampire Slayer as she is. Her head is resting gently against my shoulder and I can hear her heartbeat. Slow enough to know that she's completely out and most likely won't be waking anytime soon. I guess you could call me whipped and you know I think I'd have to agree.  
  
Hopefully there hasn't been any change in my invite status because it'd be a shame a wake her now just so she could invite me into her house. Not that Buffy would have uninvited me but there are others; I think very particularly about one bastard that I know who would have both the means and the motive to do so. Never again will I go to the Bronze when I know that Xander Harris is present. What a bloody mess, I come in complete peace and the second he sets eyes on me attacks me like I've wronged him somehow. Can't say that I haven't ever wronged the man, just no any time in the recent past have I done a single thing to deserve his wrath. Not that I couldn't have handled it and believe me had I really have wanted to hurt the Wanker I could have done so very efficiently and very quickly. I'm just trying to be on my best behavior for Buffy s'all no matter how sad that sounds. I'll prove to her yet that I am the right man for her even if that means I have to get trampled over a bit by her friends. Not that I'll lay down and stop fighting; I am still William the Bloody and I don't plan on taking shit from anyone. A little bit of shit sure because I'm strong enough to take it, but I don't plan on rolling over and becoming a complete nancy boy, just isn't me and the last thing she needs in her life is another Angel or Riley.  
  
Her door's open; thank god because I honestly wouldn't know where to begin looking for they keys and even then she probably wouldn't appreciate me fondling her while asleep. Not that I would enjoy that too much either, I'd rather she'd be awake. I'm not that desperate that I'd stoop to that level. Besides I love Buffy too much for that.  
  
I think for a brief moment about spending the night on the couch downstairs but decide against it not knowing what Buffy is going to be like in the morning. Maybe it's the lack of sleep that's got her being so nice to me, maybe it's just a couple days and then she'll be back to her old I hate Spike self. For some reason though, maybe just wishful thinking I think that this time is different. I have managed to get her out of her jacket and lay her on her bed. I leave the clothes alone thinking that I had better leave them on both for her sake and the Scoobies. No doubt they'll be here soon wondering what I've done to her and searching her over carefully to make sure there are no fresh bite marks. I love her, holy hell; I'm not going to kill her. I wish that they could just get that through their thick heads.  
  
" I love you Slayer, always will."  
  
I press a whisper of a kiss to her lips before retreating back down the stairs. I probably stayed too long as it is and I'd hate to meet the Scoobies on my way out. I hate this looking out for everyone, on my best poof behavior shit; time was when I didn't look out for anyone and never backed down. I glance up at Buffy's window from a tree I've stood under thousands of times and the only thing that enters my mind is that times change and that I've changed enough to know it.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
"This is perfect timing you realize, her falling in love with him coinciding with the Prophecy."  
  
"But how do you know she loves him mistress?"  
  
"Don't question me Sebastian, you should know better. She's in love with him and she'll do anything to protect him won't she, oh this is too perfect."  
  
The two vampires sat watching as Spike walked away from Revello, the high mistress had dark hair almost as black as tar but her pale skin was a stunning contrast and she was dressed in Robes of finest Silk and Velvet. The deep blue cloak kept her disguised well in the dark and she stood tall above the second vampire, a minion.  
  
"Do you want me to bring her to you?" he asked quietly  
  
"No Sebastian, I believe we will wait for awhile, see how things play out, besides, my William has gotten himself into a bit of trouble hasn't he? Falling in love with a Slayer, tsk, tsk, the poor thing must be mad."  
  
"Shall I contact Sylvia?"  
  
"Yes I think she'd rather enjoy this. My dear Sylvia always has wanted to taste a Slayers blood. But..." she spat at the minion "do forget the others for the time being, we've got work to do on our own. My sweet William, I wonder how you shall ever live if your Slayer refuses to die?" 


	3. William

Disclaimer: I still don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and anything else really, just the plot line.  
  
I guess there's no real explanation why I feel like something is about to happen, it's just this feeling I have inside of me, pressing on my non soul, heavy on my mind and also on my heart. For Christ's sake I wish that whatever it is would just happen already so that I could get over with all of this waiting and wondering. I woke up this afternoon genuinely scared for the first time in a good fifty years. I just don't generally get scared but today, for some reason or other; I am. Oh well, I figure it'll come into focus soon enough and I can deal with it then, no reason to worry about it every moment until it happens. Easy for me to say but not necessarily to do, this feeling is not going away easily.  
  
I was rather hoping that I would get a chance to see the Slayer today. Although so far she hasn't chosen to grace me with her presence so I'm beginning to wonder since it's almost 5 o'clock, if I won't see her until she goes out to Slay later on tonight. I hope that she continued to sleep well throughout the night with no interruptions from the gang as they all came "home" at god knows what time. It was nice to see her sleeping so well after so long without a good night's sleep. I myself slept remarkably well too and because of her no doubt, as I am often inclined to do after particularly pleasant run-ins with her.  
  
Last night was, although short lived, generally a wonderful evening. Maybe my saving her really played on her good side, not that I want to brag about saving her understand, because I don't need that kind of publicity floating around about me. I'm sure most of everyone in Sunnydale already knows of my love for the girl, I can only hope that I've still got a little bit of bad boy left in my reputation. I may love the Slayer but I certainly don't need to be known as the council's little lap dog now do I?  
  
I've been fidgety all day and think that perhaps I should get to doing something one of these days, it's been awhile since I've been to LA and I wonder just briefly if I would be welcome by Angel if I should go to visit. I wouldn't necessarily be going to visit him, because we loathe each other and all that, but I could stop in for a moment couldn't I? He's as souled as ever, and thus still the poof I've always known and certainly not loved, but he's still my sire, regrettably of course, but can't change that now can I? Maybe I should give him a call if I choose to really take this little trip, humph! Not bloody likely, since when am I one to fill anyone in on my intentions regarding anything?  
  
I've managed to get into the shower and out again within twenty minutes, water felt a little too good today not to be enjoyed and there were also a couple other things that needed to be taken care of. A man has his needs doesn't he? And the never ending vision of Buffy stuck inside my brain really worked out well for at least one of the previously mentioned needs. Not that I want to smell all pretty boy either, but I also managed to take some time to pick up some body wash, old spice I think, so I could at least be presentable for my Slayer later on.  
  
It's pretty reasonable outside and so I open the door to the crypt letting some much-needed fresh air enter the room. Too early for Vampires to be running around full force because it is really quite sunny outside, and so I figure I won't make too much of a scene if I walk around in my towel for awhile. Most of the humans stopped coming to my little corner of the cemetery years ago, everyone buried here is too old mostly to be remembered, and no one comes around anywhere near dark, they're all afraid of the monsters that come out at night. Well, the smart ones are afraid of the dark; the dumb ones I still maintain should get a lesson in proper graveyard etiquette. You come to visit Gramps and Uncle Todd during the day, not anytime near night when you're obviously have to be looking for death. I myself won't do it, not just because I have the Slayer to impress, but because I've done that for a hundred some years and something's just get boring. Not saying I never will again, but for now I'm happy with the way my unlife is going.  
  
Met Billy Idol once in the 80's back when he was doing a concert in New York City, nice man he was, drank a couple beers with him in a pub downtown after the show. Not that I would call us friends at all, acquaintances maybe, I wonder if he'd even remember me if we were to meet today. I throw another record onto the turntable, first song? Rebel Yell yeah, that's a good one I can remember. I'm thoroughly enjoying dancing around the room, singing along with my acquaintance Billy, when there's a knock on the open door and I smile to myself, she's finally decided to visit, took her damn near half of the day, but at least she came. I'm way to excited about these little things and so I wipe the ecstatic grin off of my face before turning to face her.  
  
As I turn I realize that I'm here in my towel, making an absolute fool of myself and that I have absolutely no clue who is standing at my door. It's not Buffy and that's for sure, but it is a blond 5'11 supermodel type chick that I swear I have never seen before in my life. Not bad looking that's for sure, but definitely not Buffy. She looks unsure as to if she's at the right place and looks at a crumpled piece of paper in her hand once again before addressing me and at the same time giving me the old once over.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
She seems a little embarrassed by my lack of clothes, but I'm not about to go running away from someone I don't even know. Well, then again, Buffy really wouldn't like my standing here scantily clad talking to a beautiful woman. Ok, I think maybe I will go and find some clothes for both Buffy's sake and mine.  
  
"Come in, I haven't much of a place, but you're welcomed to it for the time being." She takes a couple wary steps forward and I close the door behind her. "If you'd excuse me for a second, I'll uh...be right back."  
  
I can't exactly say why I invited this girl in, but she seemed decent enough, human, and that's a little strange, why would a human be looking for me? Don't know but I'm planning on finding out and it's only moments later before I'm back out into the living room and seated once again in my old comfy chair. She's found a seat on the couch and I see that she's much more cautious than I originally thought. Her heartbeat gives her away, almost as if she's holding her breath in fright. Great, a human that's afraid of me. I just hope she doesn't have any crosses, stakes or holy water hidden under that coat of hers.  
  
"What is it that I can do for you?"  
  
"Your Spike?"  
  
"I am, and you?"  
  
"Laurea."  
  
"Good, now that we've gotten that out of the way, why are you looking for me?"  
  
"My mothers name was Helen, she died recently and told me about you while on her deathbed."  
  
"Listen up kid, I've done a lot of things to a lot of people in the past and I don't regret a lot of it, I'm sorry if I harmed your family in anyway, but if you come to kill me, I'm afraid you won't get the chance. I'm a changed man but won't hesitate one moment about defending myself and let me tell you, I do a damn good job at it. I suggest you leave now before you're unable."  
  
Great, some kid come to get revenge for someone in his or her family that I'd wronged in the past. Never fails that there'll always be someone just around the corner waiting to dust me. I was in such a great mood earlier, I guess that this is what I was so worried about earlier. Well she seems like a nice girl so hopefully I'll be able to convince her to just leave things in the past as they are, in the past.  
  
"Wait, no, Mr....Spike? I'm not here to kill you."  
  
Thank god, one less thing I have to deal with today.  
  
"Good, I'd have hated to kill you because of it."  
  
"As I said, my mother Helen...she was in the hospital for months due to a car accident, but I was by her side at her last moments, she only asked me to do one thing...for me to find you. To find Spike, to find William. I had no idea that it was you.I've seen you before in my dreams."  
  
"What kind of joke is this? I'll ask that you not call me by that name again, I've been in your dreams? Get to the point or don't get to it, I don't care, just tell me what you came to tell me and leave."  
  
I hate being called William, I am certainly not William anymore and anyone that thinks so has either read too many vampire books or had known me in the extreme past. The past back before Spike came into existence. William and I are as different as night and day. Who is she to come here demanding things from me? Well, true, she technically hasn't demanded anything, but I just wish she'd spit it all out already.  
  
"My mother Helen, her fathers name was William, and his mothers name Katherine. I have this...It was passed down from my great grandmother."  
  
Out of her jacket is produced a leather bound book that I really don't even want to see, but I take it nonetheless and run my fingers over the bindings that should have fallen apart by now. I know this journal all too well, no; William knows this journal all too well. This is where I wrote my poetry so long ago, this journal which should not be here is burning in my hands and I set it down beside me. Everything is fitting together so well now, and she was smart, she brought proof knowing that I would never believe a word of it. I wonder why this old book has survived for so long anyhow? It certainly didn't mean anything to a lot of people back then, but to know Katherine kept it, well, that's amazing. She was so young when I was turned I wasn't even sure that she remembered me at all.  
  
"So you see William," she is still unused to my nickname and probably always will therefore be calling me William, "Besides my dreams, you and I have a common bond." She smiles a toothy grin before cocking her head just slightly in my direction, "My great grandmother is none other than your sister." 


	4. Soul Talk

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss and a lot of other people who I don't really know the names of and therefore will only call them 'the other people'. What I do know though is that I don't own any of it and therefore will take no credit for it. I will however take credit for the plot line of this story and thanks to Joss and 'the other people' for letting me borrow their characters.  
  
Four hours behind my schedule for the day and I'm just now arriving at the Magic Box. Great start to the day seeing as how I've just gotten out of bed and have only been awake for an hour now. I find it really hard to believe that I slept until two in the afternoon. I'm not complaining at all I guess, because I really did need the sleep, and I got a really good opportunity to think without being interrupted by anyone. My original plan had been to come to the Magic box at noon or so, talk to Giles a little bit about anything happening in Sunnydale and go back home. Somewhere though along the line between a few days ago when I made the plan and today, have decided that I'm going to talk to him about Spike also. I think it was this morning after particularly delicious dreams of him kept flowing into my mind. I've thought about telling Giles in the past about my being in love with Spike, but never before have I considered it this seriously, and never before have I actually decided to do it.  
  
I really am a little bit angry with myself for not accepting it all sooner. How blind could I have possibly been? What I hate most about it all though is having been so mean to Spike over the past months and years. I've loved him for such a long time now, and I've been too stupid and stubborn to admit it. I'm not putting it off anymore, I know how he feels about me; well, hopefully he'll still want me after everything I've done to him in the past. I pray he will. I can almost still feel his warm arms wrapped protectively around me as he carried me home last night, how sweet, how amazingly right this all is. I feel bad about putting the gang in this position but I can't go on denying things anymore. They want me to be happy don't they? Well, Spike makes me happy, so they should just be glad for us. Besides, Xander's dating a Demon so what's the difference. Well, ex-demon technically, and not one that killed hundreds of people so that's the difference.but still.  
  
Giles is sitting reclined in a chair with his feet up on the round table with a book in his hands when I walk in and for a few moments I can watch him just being himself, relaxed, unprofessional, down to earth Giles. That is soon ended however when he notices my presence and jumps out of the chair straightening his clothes and moving miscellaneous objects. I wonder what it is that makes him need to be always doing something when someone is around.  
  
"Good morning Buffy, I thought I'd see you earlier on today"  
  
"Sorry, I sort of overslept."  
  
He nods and I don't offer any other sort of excuse for being late, I just peel off my jacket, drop myself into a chair and swivel to face him. He looks a little more serious than I recall him looking the last time I saw him and I hope that nothing major has happened or is going to happen. He returns to his chair although he doesn't seem to relax at all, and I decide that I had better begin this most likely long conversation about my feelings for Spike. I can almost imagine the conversation as it is about to happen.  
  
"Giles, I've got to talk to you about something. Something that you might not be so pleased about."  
  
He's not going to make this easy I can tell because he doesn't say a thing, just stares at me stone faced.  
  
"You're my Watcher and you've known me for awhile," yeah Buffy good way to start. Make him think you're an idiot too in the process. I shake my head at my own words hoping I'll do better from here on out. "I know that you, the Scoobies and The Council didn't approve when I was dating Angel." Yeah, definitely not doing better. At least he's nodding now. "And there's no way to tell you how sorry I am for everything that happened when he lost his soul. I'm so sorry, I really am."  
  
"Is this about Angel?" he suddenly asks sadly "He's not back is he? You're not thinking of getting involved with him again?"  
  
Not exactly the road I was meaning to take.  
  
"No! Giles no! Angel and I are. we. I mean. no! Angel and I will never be together again. It's something else entirely." Well I guess you could say that this situation is quite similar to my situation with Angel but for the man not being Angel. "You're going to hate this but I can't go on lying anymore. Lying to myself, to you, to the gang, I just can't. I honestly never meant for this to happen, but I can't say that I'm sorry that it did. After Angel, I never thought that I could love anyone as much as I had loved him. I promised myself that I would never get involved with another Vamp.another.man ever again, but I love him so much, because he is a man, not a monster, not an evil demon, he deserves to be loved and I love him." Great, shout at him, sure that'll help things. Crap, I completely forgot to even mention Spikes name in that whole stupid rant of mine. Giles looks like he's absorbing some really bad news and I can't blame him. I'm sure that he can guess what I'm trying to tell him. I guess that if my charge were in love with another vampire I wouldn't be feeling too good about it either. Okay, I have to clear this up a little bit.  
  
"I'm in love with Spike." Well, can't get too much more truthful than that. "I have been for a long time now, and I always will be. I want to be with him. You've known him; you've seen how he's changed for the better. Giles, he's not going hurt me, he can't, and he won't. He isn't Angel. I need your help keeping him from ever being like Angel."  
  
"Buffy."  
  
Is that all he's going to say? He certainly doesn't look too happy about it all, and immediately he's cleaning his glasses, a sure sign or distress or deep thought. Maybe I should have thought this out a little better before throwing at him in a completely awful way. I should have come up with a script of some sort so it wouldn't have sounded so rash. Suddenly there's no other place I'd rather be than away from here. I was hoping that I would have gotten a chance to see Spike today but it look's like it'll have to wait for a long while.  
  
I've been to the training room twice, read a book about Shamanism, and rearranged the crystals on some of the shelves all while waiting for Giles to say something. I keep coming back to this table hoping that he'll utter even one word but still nothing. How long has it been? An hour and a half, and I didn't even know that you could be completely silent for that long without being asleep. I'm starting to wonder if I should just leave and give him some space to absorb everything when finally he speaks. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it's something.  
  
"There's a Prophecy due to occur in two weeks."  
  
Not quite sure what to say next but thankfully he makes the next comment as well.  
  
"This isn't the best time for your mind to be focused on other things."  
  
"Giles I love him nothing's going to change that." Shit, I wonder if he'll go back into his catatonic state for another hour.  
  
"I cannot prevent you from loving him but I can warn you against it. You of all people know about falling in love with a Vampire. Angel was unpredictable, unchangeable, mysterious, and a killer. I don't want to see anything like that happen ever again. Especially to you."  
  
"It won't, with you're help it won't. Spike doesn't have a soul so he can't lose it. If he never gets a soul he can never lose it and change. I need to keep him from ever getting cursed with a soul Giles."  
  
"Wait?" an uninvited voice is entering our conversation and I turn to see who might be rude enough to butt in. Of course it would be Anya. "If he is so harmless now, if he got a soul wouldn't that make him even more harmless? And if he did lose the soul somehow wouldn't be just be the same as he is now before he got the soul?"  
  
Giles flashes a brief warning my way as if to say "it's not her fault, let it go." Thankfully I don't have to say anything because Giles speaks up  
  
"Anya, there's something called a humanity clause with souls. Either you have one or you don't but you're not supposed to be the way Spike is without one. He's trustworthy, kind, harmless, and all that, but if he were to receive a soul and then lose it, all of that humanity that was in him before the soul would be taken with the soul. Understand? He's not supposed to be feeling those feelings without a soul, and so if by chance he were to inherit a soul, those feelings and morals would be taken away with the departure of that soul. It's not easy to explain, forget it."  
  
"I think I've got it, like Angel and the happiness clause but different. He gets happy he loses his soul and tries to kill everyone, Spike gets a soul and he's good as long as he's not happy if there's a happiness clause, but if he gets too happy or somehow otherwise looses his soul, his morals and aforementioned harmlessness goes with it. Yeah, okay, I think I'll be going to count down the register now."  
  
Anya retreats back to the counter. Yeah, summed that up pretty well. I wonder when she ducked into this conversation anyway. It's not exactly something I want her to know about, and because she tells Xander everything it probably (if she heard it all) won't be long before I have to confront to Scoob's about it either. Damn.  
  
"I know him Giles, he isn't a threat now but I need to do this for our future."  
  
"As I said, this isn't the best time, there's a prophecy that you will have to deal with soon. I suggest that you put these thoughts of Spike aside and get ready for everything to come. Train, patrol, research, some of these things are more important than loving a vampire."  
  
"You need to tell me how to keep him from ever receiving a soul. Once that's accomplished I'll be glad to work on this prophecy problem. This is really important to me and if you care for me as much as you say you do, then you'll do this," I look into his eyes, begging him to help me do this. I'll do it alone if I have to, but it would be so much easier with his help. "Please Giles."  
  
Once again he hasn't spoken for a long period of time. Not hours this time, only 3 very long deathly quiet minutes. He looks torn between two worlds and I feel bad about putting him in this position. I'm sure there's got to be some sort of watcher guideline that makes him question keeping a vampire purposefully soulless. Please Giles Please do this; I need to know that nothing will ever happen to change him. I need to know that no one will ever be hurt because of him. He won't go back to the evil Spike, I know he won't, but I've got to have some sort of insurance policy on that. If he never gets a soul he'll never change. I really can't believe I'm purposefully keeping a vampire soulless either, I never thought in a hundred years that I'd be able to love a soulless vampire. I guess it shows how much I've changed.  
  
"London. The Council is the only place that knows the ritual for this type of thing. Even if you talk to them I doubt that they will agree to keep Spike soulless. That's all I can do."  
  
He looks defeated but I hug him anyway, a great hug that he thankfully responds to. There's a small smile on his face when I pull away from him kiss him on the cheek. Thank you Giles, thank you for giving me my future. Thank you for giving me Spike. I grab my jacket from the table at turn to face him once more.  
  
"Give me a ride to the airport?" 


	5. Patrolling

Disclaimer: Same as always, I don't own BTVS or any thing related to it.  
  
Authors note: I am really pleased so far with the way this story is turning out and I'm really glad that so many of you are reading. I'd like to thank these people for their reviews: Darklover, Azrielle, Hannah, and Kate. Thanks to you for reviewing and I hope you keep reading. Your gracious author -Grace  
  
The first thing I notice is that I'm out of fags, the second thing is that there are way too many demons and vampires running around tonight. Either something's going on that I'm not aware of or the Slayer's not doing her job. I absent-mindedly reach for another cigarette, one that of course doesn't exist. I guess my train of thought isn't too good right now seeing as how I only thought about how I was out of smokes a couple moments ago and yet I've only just reached for one despite the fact. A slave to my addictions I am, yes, how true that is.  
  
Can't say my day wasn't eventful, a little disturbing at that too. I wasn't expecting my past to come walking back into my life anytime soon. Well, anytime ever if I'd have had it the way I'd have wanted it. What really gets me though is that she would even want to know me, that she wouldn't be a little put off by the fact that her great uncle is a vampire. Hmm, yes, that's been occupying my mind for most of the time since we've met. Why I couldn't have just asked her that I don't know, I guess I just didn't feel the need at the time. Hate to say this about her, but I'm not sure I can trust her just yet. Hell, I've only met the girl half a day ago, it's not like I'm going to open myself up to her completely. She shouldn't expect me to. Does she?  
  
Of course she never knew my sister in her life, and didn't know much about her, but if she is whom she says she is; and she must be if she brought that damned journal along with her, I've got to accept her. It's a little strange knowing that I have family out there. I never really even knew if my sister survived London back then. All those nasty vamps running around looking for a quick bite to eat. I was one of the lucky ones, if you could call it that, who was chosen to become part of something, part of a legacy, part of a family. Not just a quick meal like so many others. I was gone long before she even was old enough to know what happened to me. Not that I'd ever admit it of course, but if there were only one thing I could have changed about my past, it would have been to say goodbye to my little sister Katherine.  
  
Ah, it's all too late for all that now, and I haven't got many regrets about the past, I'm not even sure that I'd have stayed human if I'd had the option. What life was there for me there back then? I couldn't say I've never missed things, the sun for one, a heartbeat at times, food, real good food that I could taste well, but I'd be long gone and dead, really dead and six feet under if it hadn't been for being turned. Then there's Buffy, oh sweet perfect amazing Slayer of mine, if I hadn't died so many years ago I would have never come to Sunnydale. Funny how things work out isn't it. I wonder where the hell she is anyway? I thought for sure she would have come by already. Can anyone say whipped nancy boy? Fuck, what happened to me anyhow? Vampire man, remember? Having family and memories seem to have brought out the worst in me. Maybe it's a good thing Buffy hasn't showed, don't want her to see me in my high heels and puffy dress.  
  
All right, I think I've got things under control, back to staking and killing things. Yes that's always a good man activity and something that I happen to particularly love to do. Something is definitely different, there's way too much activity here tonight and I'm only feet away from my crypt. I wonder if the other cemetery's are this active tonight. I'll have to make it a point of talking to the Watcher tomorrow, see if there's anything I can do to help control the population of evil.  
  
Laurea and I talked most of the afternoon, talking about each of our lives and such. She being only in her early 20's surprisingly had a lot to say. She seems really mature for her age and all, I wonder if I'll see her again or if I've scared her off well enough. I left that damn journal lying on my chair. Most likely I won't even be able to open it, it's been to long, that's not who I am anymore, that's definitely not what I want of life. William the bloody, well, yes, they were bloody right about that. I'll have to get rid of it at some point, or maybe, damn it, I'll just give it back to the girl. She seemed to take care of it, although why I can't destroy the fucking thing I haven't a clue. I sort of hope she comes around again although we'll have to work on that William thing. Can't have her calling me that now can I? William this, William that, ugh makes me want to gag.  
  
Well wouldn't you look at that? It seems that the Slayers little Scooby gang doesn't think I can handle my own graveyard. Nice of them to stop by wasn't it? Oh I was so afraid of the big bad beasties. Wonder what they want from me now, maybe a try at dusting me while the Slayer's not around. I'd like to see 'em try, wouldn't get far I can promise that. I take care of the last remaining vampire I had previously been playing with and stand to face the group. Even the watcher is out tonight, but no sign of Buffy, is she avoiding me purposefully?  
  
"Watcher?"  
  
"Spike."  
  
"To what do I owe this visit?"  
  
"Do you usually talk like that? Can't you just say what do you want?"  
  
"Xander." Giles hushes the annoying boy and continues "Spike, Buffy left this for you, she told me to give it to you as soon as possible."  
  
He produces an envelope from his pocket and thrusts it in my direction. He's seemingly a little nicer tonight; I wonder what it is that he wants? What's more intriguing than that thought though is just what exactly the Slayer has to say, I'd rip into the packet now, but there's no chance of my sharing the information inside with the Scoobies and so I tuck it into my duster pocket. My mind is running with possibilities of what it could say. I can't come up with one thing that could make sense except for that she's writing me off. She's sending me a letter so that she never has to talk to me again, so that she doesn't have to see me again. Oh shit, that's it isn't it? Get a hold of yourself man, it's probably nothing, just get the Scoobies gone so that you can go and find out.  
  
"Left it for me? Where did she go?"  
  
"I'm not sure she wants you to know. She may have told you in the letter."  
  
"And if she didn't?"  
  
"Then she didn't want you to know did she huh undead?"  
  
"You know idiot Harris, the slayer isn't around to save you if I choose to hurt you. If you think you're little gang is going to stop me from teaching you a lesson, you're dead wrong. I'd suggest you keep to yourself for the time being."  
  
Of course I'm only jesting, not about the disliking Xander Harris part, or about being able to take care of him had I wanted to, but I'd never be able to really hurt him. Buffy would probably not take kindly to me knocking off her friends and would probably kill me herself. Well, I can still talk big; a man's got to have something.  
  
"By the by," I direct my question only to Giles "what's with all of the activity tonight? Something happening I should know about?"  
  
"There's a prophecy due to occur in two weeks, as far as I can figure it's over flow from that. You know how it is, the hellmouth becomes a beacon to every demon within a hundred miles when these things happen."  
  
"Mind if I come by the shop tomorrow? Talk it out a bit with you?"  
  
God this envelope is burning a hole in my pocket. I've got to get back to the crypt soon so I can appease my curiosity.  
  
"Sure, I guess that's all we came to tell you."  
  
I must be the only one paying attention to the things happening around us because neither The Wanker, Giles, nor Willow notices the vampire that's sneaking up behind them. Great, if I lunge for the vamp, they think I'm jumping at them, they try to stake me, I have to hit someone, Buffy gets pissed, I end up getting staked in the long run anyway. Oh bloody hell, there's not even time to warn the witch; it seems that she is the intended prey of this vampire, and so I hope to god that I'm able to get to this vampire before the Scoobies get to me. Well, my Slayer would be even less pleased if I just let her friends get picked off by demons and vampires. I jump.  
  
How amusing that was. Five seconds of complete and utter chaos, rather funny chaos, and I'm luckily still around to relive it. Red's face when I jumped at her was indescribable. Somewhere between fear and confusion while I was pushing her to the ground and somewhere between thankfulness and confusion when I was throwing the offending vamp over my head and towards the others waiting stakes that had most surely been intended for me. Thankfully, as soon as they realized that I was in no way trying to hurt the witch, but only trying to protect her, they joined the fight. It was a wonder that the two men can't get this vampire down try as they might. He looked so familiar, as if I had seen him before this fight. Couldn't have, no one survives my attacks. I jump atop him, pressing him to the ground while The Watcher fumbles around for his lost stake. Then as sudden as the wind it comes to me. How I didn't see it before I don't know, and how he ever recovered so quickly I cannot say. I never thought he would make it out of that cemetery that night.  
  
"Mate you just don't give up do you?"  
  
Giles has finally found the stake and now that I am in possession of it, I press it lightly to this vampire's chest. There'll be time for his death, he's not getting away tonight I'll guarantee that.  
  
"Alright, you're going to tell me a little story. Something about yourself and why you're here. And don't leave out why you tried to kill my Slayer, it won't show well on you for lying."  
  
"Spike you know this vampire?"  
  
"Watcher this isn't exactly the time, but yes, I do, I drained him last night after he tried to kill Buffy."  
  
"Drained? How could he have possibly recovered so."  
  
"This is the one that tried to choke her?" the witch is now standing above us with a very angry glare resting on her features. "If you drained him then why is he here now?"  
  
"I want to know now why you're here, I want to know who sent you, and I want to know what the Slayer has to do with it." I've changed into into game face, the more threatening of the two me's and press the stake a little tighter against his chest.  
  
"I'm prepared to die for this cause, you'll get nothing from me."  
  
"Fine, then let's have it out shall we?"  
  
The point of the stake is not quite to his heart and I ask one more time  
  
"Last chance, you tell me now I let you go, you don't talk and you die."  
  
He shakes his head one last time before I turn him to dust. I would have gotten nothing from him anyway, and so really there was no good reason to keep him around. Goddamn minions taking up space where they aren't wanted. I wish he had just been reasonable, told me a little bit about who's controlling him, maybe about what his plans were. Minions these days are all too stupid to know the difference anyway. I hope I can get out of here before the inevitable question and answer session begins. For a couple minutes there I had completely forgotten about my Slayers letter.  
  
"Watcher, I'll talk to you about this more so tomorrow, for now though, I'm off to read a letter."  
  
"We really should talk more about this."  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
I leave the gang standing above the recently much deceased vampire. Well, can't say the night wasn't eventful either, I only hope that this rush I've worked up isn't smashed to a screaming halt after reading what the Slayer has to say. I close the door behind me, pour a quick drink and retreat once again to my chair. I almost forgot that that bloody journal was still here. I pick it up and run my hands over the smooth leather surface. I'm going to get rid of this thing as soon as possible, for now though I just sit it on top of the fridge. Out of sight out of mind right? I'm finally able to take the envelope from my duster and I tear it open on one end. Out drops a little piece of paper. Must not have to say much, if this is it, well I guess that could be both good and bad. The paper smells like mint and looks like a gum wrapper. Great, I'm that much of an afterthought. I gently unfold the paper, take a deep breath, open my eyes, and stare at the three words she has written there. 


	6. London

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer doesn't belong to me and never will. I only use the characters for my own interesting purposes. Thanks to Joss for inventing them all.  
  
After finding the baggage claim and getting through customs I find myself at the front doors wondering where I should go now. Giles did say he would try to get me a ride didn't he? Probably not going to be as easy as it looks, there are dozens upon dozens of people standing with name signs. Wellstone, Anderson, McConnell, Edwards, Alder, Morgan, Green, and about forty more jumbled names before finally, ooh, Summers. I pull my bags up once again and make my way over to him. He looks at me as if I'm intruding in some incredible private moment and speaks to me as if I'm scum.  
  
"May I help you?"  
  
"Yeah, your sign, it says Summers, I'm Buffy Summers."  
  
"How wonderful for you, but this sign," he points to the sign in his hands as if I'm stupid. "Is for Miss Marguerite Summers. Seeing as how you're not her, would you mind stepping away? You're blocking my sign from the real Miss Summers' view."  
  
God, I hope everyone in London isn't so bitchy. If he only knew how badly I could kick his ass. Damn bastard, if Spike was here he would learn some respect so quickly it wouldn't even be funny. Not that I'm a pushover or anything, but seeing as how I am in someone else's country I probably shouldn't be starting brawls all over the place. Not to say there won't be time for that all later, hopefully the council will send me out on some patrols while I'm here. If Spike were here he'd have the right to kick everyone's ass because he is English. Who would have thought that I'd ever wish he were by my side? Who would have ever thought that I would have fallen for a soulless vampire? There's a hand on my shoulder and I spin around hoping that it's not "Miss Marguerite Summers" driver with another bone to pick with me. Something along the lines of me being in his airport or the refection from my suitcase tag is interfering with his sign. Nope, thank god it's a man in his mid forties I think, really pretty expressionless but polite nonetheless. "Are you Buffy Summers?"  
  
"I am, are you from the Council?"  
  
"I'm Winston your driver, if you are quite ready the Council has put you up at one of our local hotels for the night."  
  
"I thought I was going to talk to them today? Couldn't you take me there instead?"  
  
"Your appointment is for ten tomorrow morning, they are expecting you at that time only. We should get going if we're to make it before it noon."  
  
"Yes, let's." I wish I had a cool accent. Americans don't even have an accent how boring is that? No wonder all of Dawns friends go crazy over Spike. He's got an amazing accent, an amazing body, and an amazing mind so what's not to like? Dawn's friends? Hell, I certainly couldn't escape falling for him.  
  
I can barely see out of the heavily tinted windows and I'm a little disappointed about that, I was hoping to at least catch sight of some scenery or tourist stuff on the way there. Not that I'll have a lot of time for that though, sight seeing really isn't in the schedule. I thought that tinting was supposed to only be on the outside of the car? I feel so small in this huge car, my god it seems to stretch forever forward. The drivers' window is down and so I can see that Winston is the only one in the car besides me. There are four TV's situated in various places throughout, heavy padded leather seats, and mini bars in three places along the so called walls that I'm immediately pouring Champagne from. Hey, not my fault if they want to fully furnish the limousine. Besides, I think I've deserved at least one glass of Champagne from the Council. Eight telephones, four laptop computers that I would guess could be for anyone's use, three refrigerators along with the mini bars, running lights along the ceiling, and ooh, massage seats.  
  
"Winston, can I use these phones?"  
  
"Yes Miss,"  
  
"To call the United States?"  
  
"Yes Miss"  
  
"Okay, can you put up the window between us?"  
  
"I'm sorry Miss Summers, it was broken just last week and has yet to be fixed."  
  
I'm fairly sure it wasn't "broken just last week" and that he just wants to make sure he sees everything that's going on back here but I don't say anything about it and pick up the phone. Hey, technically I could pick up all eight of these phones and call everyone at the same time. Xander, Willow, Tara, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Spike.am I forgetting anybody? Probably, but at the same time, I really don't want everyone knowing where I am right now. I feel bad about not telling the Scoobies and especially about not telling Spike, but I can't be bothered while I'm here and that pretty much assures that I won't be. I dial Giles number and hope it's not too early, what is the time difference anyway? The phone rings four times and just as I'm about to hang up I hear his voice on the line. He doesn't sound like he's been sleeping, so that's good.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me Giles, I told you I'd call to let you know when I made it."  
  
"Where are you now?"  
  
"Drinking Champagne in the limo on my way to a hotel."  
  
"You're not going to talk business first?"  
  
"No, they're not expecting me until tomorrow morning. Giles, I'm so nervous, I don't know what to wear, I don't know how to act, and I don't know any of these people well enough to know how to talk to them. I know Quentin Travers but I really don't like.hey, you don't think I'm going to have to talk to him do you?"  
  
"You very well might, but you don't have to Buffy, just change your mind and come back."  
  
"Giles, I'm not coming back until I get them to do this and so you better damn well hope that they do it soon. You do think they will don't you? I mean, I won't have to be here for weeks or anything will I?"  
  
"Either it'll happen or it won't Buffy, there's really no gray area here."  
  
"Yeah I suppose, wish me luck will you?"  
  
"You have all of the luck I have to give."  
  
"Thanks, how are the Scoobies and Dawn?"  
  
"Everyone's fine here. Last night's patrol went reasonably well, but there were so many demons and Vampires running around that it was hard to get to them all. It's too bad you're not here."  
  
There's a long pause and I can almost see Giles cleaning his glasses over the phone lines. I wonder what it is he has to say.  
  
"Giles, you can just say it, even though I'm a couple thousand miles away I can still listen you know."  
  
There's a chuckle from him and I can't help but take offense. Well I guess I brought that on myself and what I know is coming.  
  
"Buffy, you can hardly listen to what I have to say when I'm three feet away let alone half way across the world. You need to keep up on training even when you're there. Go out and patrol at night just make sure you're being careful, we are going to need you back in time for the prophecy, and it wouldn't hurt if you were here at least a week or so in advance either."  
  
I guess he's right, it all depends on the stupid Council as to how soon I return. I pray it's only a day or two and no longer. It'll all be worth it in the end then won't it? I'll have Spike, he will always be the same and I'll never have to worry about him getting a soul from anywhere unexpected.  
  
"Okay Giles, I suppose I should go seeing as how I'm using the car phone and I'm getting dirty looks from the driver."  
  
I'm not sure Winston caught that or not, but he has been glaring into the rear view mirror for awhile now obviously with some issue as to how much time I'm spending on "his" so called phone.  
  
"Giles, one more thing, how's Spike? I mean, is he mad that I left without telling him where I was going? Has he been helping you guys?"  
  
"Spike? Spike's fine."  
  
"Thanks again for not telling anyone about why I'm here."  
  
I can hear what sounds like a commotion in the background and I wonder what's going on.  
  
"You.get away from the phone! Give me that!"  
  
"Giles, what's going on?"  
  
He doesn't reply there's only more noise and it sounds like people arguing. I'm guessing that Giles has covered the receiver because suddenly it's a lot quieter and I can't really hear much just muffled voices. I wish I had bothered to ask what time it is there, is it dark? Is Giles in some sort of trouble and I'm not there to help him? Couldn't be a vampire, because Giles is home and there's that whole invitation thing, and it didn't seem like he was that afraid of whoever it was. What the hell's going on?  
  
"Slayer?"  
  
A very familiar voice comes on the line and I smile. Well I guess it was a vampire that seems to have been causing the entire ruckus. Not that I mind hearing his voice at all, never thought I would be so homesick in my life, and right now there's nothing that I want more than to be near him. Soon enough, soon enough.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, I uh.was just talking to your watcher about the upcoming prophecy."  
  
"It's so good to hear your voice" God, did I really say that? Great Buffy, recover, say something ".what time is it there?"  
  
"Quarter to six.what time is it where you are?"  
  
"You'd like to know wouldn't you?" I joke "maybe a nice little clue as to where I am huh?"  
  
"Yeah thanks for the gum wrapper by the way, real nice of you. Three words really encompassed it all you know? Of all the things you could have possibly written, be back soon was really what I wanted to hear. You couldn't have written I'm in New York, or I'm in Chicago? Something along those lines?"  
  
"Hey, don't blame me, I didn't exactly have hours to write letters to everyone before the flight. Besides, you should feel privileged; you're the only one who got anything. Three words is more than anyone else got."  
  
"When are you coming back?"  
  
"Miss me huh?"  
  
No answer, is that good or bad? I don't know. It looks like we're just pulling into my hotel and as much as I hate to hang up it looks like I'm going to have to. I wish I could just talk to him for hours.  
  
"I've got to go, I'm at my hotel."  
  
"I'll see you when I see you then."  
  
He sounds sad and it tears me up inside to hear him that way. If he only knew how much I missed him, if he only knew how much I wanted him, if he only knew how much I love him. Winston has turned off the car and is standing by my door expectantly.  
  
"Yeah, and Spike?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I.I love you."  
  
Author note: Please review if you are enjoying this story at all. I could really use the encouragement and ideas. Thanks to all for reading. -Grace 


	7. Phonecalls

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
  
Author note: I'd like to thank Azrielle for continuing to support my fanfic and also for reviewing again. It's that sort of thing that keeps me writing. Thanks Azrielle and I hope you all enjoy the next chapter. Let me know if you think doing alternate viewpoints is working out or not. Am I repeating too many things? I don't think so but you all may and I want to please the audience you know? -Grace  
  
So maybe I wasn't exactly right when I decided to "camp out" at Giles' apartment. Firstly there's been no word from Buffy and secondly he keeps threatening my imminent demise if I don't let him get some sleep. I find myself being entertained by the BBC at this hour of the morning, which just so happens to be five or somewhere close to it, the show; which I can't exactly recall the name of at the moment isn't really half bad either. It's nice to hear British accents besides the Watchers and my own sometimes.  
  
Not quite sure when it was that I exactly decided I'd bombard Giles, sometime around midnight I think it was when I decided that I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and wouldn't able to really kill anything until I knew where my Slayer was. Okay, so I lied a bit, I killed a lot of things on my way here, but it did seem to take me a hell of a lot longer than usual, so I guess that's one in the same. Things definitely are getting a little stressed around here, all these hell demons wandering around all over the place, all these fledgling vampires acting all cocky as if they own the world or soon will. I loathe them.  
  
So I came knocking at the Watchers door at which seemed to be a nice decent hour, well, for a vampire anyway, and since I had a prior invitation he was unable to keep me from setting up surveillance on his couch. Ever since he had passed that miserable excuse for a message on to me earlier on in the cemetery I've just been going crazy. I tried to relax in the crypt but found myself at his door only minutes later raiding his fridge for any blood that may have been left unnoticed. So here I am now, sitting next to him on the couch watching Sea Change, drinking warm blood out of Giles "kiss the librarian" mug which I'm quite thinking of mysteriously walking off with at some point. Still no news from Buffy but I shouldn't be that disappointed, it's not like she said she'd call or anything.  
  
I have to say I wasn't exactly happy about being left out of the loop on this one. I thought things were getting better between Buffy and I and really was disappointed that she felt she had to leave town for awhile without even letting me know where she was headed. Fine, that's just fine, she wants to take me for granted then let her, we'll see who's begging who when the prophecy begins and she needs a certain virtuoso vampire on her side. Maybe I just won't help, what about that, I'll just sit here and drink my blood thinking about all the wonderful ways she'll need to please me before I do a single thing for her. Why should I anyway, I'm a vampire, big bad remember all? I could kill the lot of you with a snap of my fingers. Suddenly the phone rings and I jump up. Yeah, didn't have to be so obvious did I? Didn't have to prove that all my thoughts are complete bull with one little ring did I? The watcher looks at me sadly and I can only guess what he's thinking. No, I don't have to guess, he makes sure I know.  
  
"For god's sake Spike, settle down, it probably isn't even her."  
  
At five forty in the morning who else would it be? And why bloody hell isn't he answering the phone? That's the third ring, she isn't going to let it ring all morning you know? God man, put me out of my misery and answer the bloody phone. He finally picks it up clearing his throat as he does.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
I'm too far away to hear what is being said on the other end of that phone but I know it's her just by the by the look on his face. Is that relief pasted there on his features? I wish I could hear her voice but I doubt the watcher will let me get that much closer and so I sit patiently hoping for any smidgen of information regarding her whereabouts. Even my keen sense of vampire hearing isn't doing me much good right now, damn.  
  
"Where are you now?" Giles continues as I listen to the one sided conversation. "You're not going to talk business first?"  
  
I wonder exactly what kind of business he's talking about. I wonder why she'd be leaving Sunnyhell at so important of time as this, what could possibly be more important?  
  
"You very well might, but you don't have to Buffy, just change your mind and come back."  
  
So it's not good business then, if the Watcher doesn't want her there she really probably shouldn't be there and alone, not that she can't take care of herself, but, hold on, it's not my job to take care of her. Oh bloody hell yes it is.  
  
"Either it'll happen or it won't Buffy, there's really no gray area here."  
  
Only a little more confused at that comment. It really would help if I could hear what she was saying.  
  
"You have all of the luck I have to give."  
  
And I honestly thought that coming here would put my mind at ease when I knew she was okay? Yeah, that seemed to work out well didn't it? Nothing much of interest coming out of the conversation now, Giles telling her about patrol and about Dawn and the Scoobies. Of course she wouldn't want to know about me, why would I ever think so? How did I end up so disillusioned? He's lecturing her about patrolling and training while I'm sitting here a complete idiot for even thinking she'd think about me. After all, I did only get a gum wrapper with be back soon as an explanation to her sudden disappearance. How foolish was I to ever think that she could feel anything for me, how incredibly asinine of me. I get up from my seat and grab my duster from the kitchen table, I think I'll just leave, there's no point for me being here, there never was.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
The word drifts through my mind and I can't believe he actually said it, why did he by the way?  
  
"Spike's fine."  
  
I can barely believe that she's asking about me and without thinking I'm across the room trying to pull the phone away from Giles who definitely doesn't seem to want to give it up. We argue for what seems like forever, and even though I could play dirty to get this phone I don't, I don't need my Slayer thinking I'm abusing her friends while I'm away. Finally I pull it from his grasp and he retreats only a few feet sure to intercept if anything inappropriate is said.  
  
"Slayer?"  
  
"Spike?"  
  
She sounds exactly the way I remember her, like the sun and the moon and fire and rain all in one. I can barely stand the distance and in my heart I feel that a part of myself is missing. She's only been gone for half a day and yet it feels like an eternity.  
  
"Yeah, I uh.was just talking to your watcher about the upcoming prophecy."  
  
Good cover idiot, it's not like she'll believe you were just over for a friendly cup of tea at five in the morning. Couldn't you have said something else? Something like we were torturing a band of outlaws in the basement while smoking cartons of cigarettes and sing punk rock. Sure that'd have been better.  
  
"It's so good to hear your voice"  
  
No, she didn't just say she missed me did she? No, she said she was glad to hear your voice, but now she's covering with what time is it? Bad cover luv, should have though something else up. She misses me, I mouth to Giles and he just shakes his head as if we're both crazies. Maybe coming here wasn't such a bad idea after all; that alone could hold me for a couple months. Just hearing that she was glad to talk to me. Wait, should I say something? She completely changed the subject though so it's not as if I can just go back to the afore mentioned words. Maybe I had better just wait until I see her in person. I'm a wreck, god, I'm dying of love. The little voice in my mind pipes up, you're not dying, you're just disabled by love. Oh shut up.  
  
"Quarter to six.what time is it where you are?"  
  
Maybe she won't hear the incredibly obvious clue possibility in that sentence.  
  
"You'd like to know wouldn't you, maybe a nice little clue as to where I am huh?"  
  
Guess not, she knows me too damn well to begin with.  
  
"Yeah thanks for the gum wrapper by the way, real nice of you. Three words really encompassed it all you know? Of all the things you could have possibly written, be back soon was really what I wanted to hear. You couldn't have written I'm in New York, or I'm in Chicago? Something along those lines?"  
  
"Hey, don't blame me, I didn't exactly have hours to write letters to everyone before the flight. Besides, you should feel privileged; you're the only one who got anything. Three words is more than anyone else got."  
  
So maybe I was completely wrong about the gum wrapper showing me as the unfavorable when in fact I am just the opposite. I still don't know where she is but at least she thought enough of me to make sure I had something letting me know; well, not her whereabouts or when she'd be calling but that she'd be sure to "be back soon." I try once again to get some information and once again get nothing just a sarcastic "miss me huh?" God if she only knew how much I do.  
  
It seems that she's arrived at her hotel and that she has so go but I just hate to let her go. Its not like I'll never see her again, and she'll be back within two weeks for sure, but I just hate to hang up when were getting along so well. When she's herself and not pissed at me for something and I'm able to just be me, without putting up any guards. Maybe it's not such a bad time to part anyway, Giles phone is starting to cut out and I hate shouting over static.  
  
"I'll see you when I see you then."  
  
"Yeah," I can barely hear her now. "Spike?"  
  
I'm straining to hear over the static  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
God damn phone, I wander from where I'm standing hoping that I'll get some sort of better reception but it doesn't seem to be getting any better.  
  
"I."  
  
"Buffy, can't.you're break.up.you what?"  
  
"I."  
  
Click. 


	8. Sebastian

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or anything else in this story which may be copyrighted that I don't know of.  
  
Authors Note: Thanks to Darklover and Amber Evans Potter for their reviews and continued support of my fanfic. Also thanks to everyone else who is reading. I hope you enjoy and please review. -Grace  
  
Sebastian hadn't gotten in until just before sunrise, and angry as he was, immediately went to his sire to report on the previous evening's occurrences. He hated this town, there were too many damn demons and vampires that called it home to be comfortable in it. He was older than a lot of them and yet was treated far beneath most. Did no one respect the elders here? Did no one follow the laws and guidelines? Wasn't the lore important to anyone anymore? Were there even any true vampires left? Where he had come from things weren't nearly so chaotic. He couldn't wait to get home, he hadn't hidden that fact from his sire in the past and certainly wasn't about to start.  
  
She had asked him to watch Spike, to keep an eye on him while she couldn't, and he always did what was requested of him. Watching Kendall had turned out to be completely the opposite. Sebastian couldn't exactly say that he hated Kendall, after all, he was his sire's childe, but something about him never clicked. Kendall it seemed always had some sort of insane plan of his own that always interfered with their Sire's own plans. Sebastian couldn't exactly say that Alethea had been easy on them over the years, because she certainly wouldn't take with any of her childer behaving badly or disobedience on anyone's parts but it never seemed that Kendall really understood. As far as Childer went, Kendall had been on the bottom rung of the ladder and so acted justifiably.  
  
His sire was sitting in the appointed "throne room" as it were, quietly meditating with eyes closed and although he had much to say, Sebastian knew better than to disturb her. He had seen only a very few unlucky people interrupt her in the past and certainly would never do it himself. As her childe he knew better. It would certainly mean a strict punishment if that simple rule were broken. Alethea had been a practicing witch for as long as he had been around, always taking time out of any plan to rid herself of any bad mojo. Sebastian himself wasn't overly skilled in the craft, not knowing how to cast, or invoke; even simple spells were beyond him although he never doubted the power magic held in this world.  
  
"Yes Sebastian?"  
  
Alethea lifted her questioning eyes in his direction, hoping that he had good news for her. She hadn't always trusted Sebastian the way she now did, in the beginning, Sebastian was her one big mistake, making him a childe instead of a minion. Surprisingly in her almost four hundred years she had only sired three childer, but had created hundreds of minions, why she chose him to sire she never could tell. In the end she was rather surprised with how useful Sebastian had turned out to be. In the beginning Vera was the only one that she would trust with tasks of importance, and it probably still would only be Vera if only that bitch of a Slayer back in New York hadn't killed her a few decades ago. Since that moment Sebastian had taken his place as the next oldest member of the Orobas line, and rightly so became greatly involved in the happenings of the clan.  
  
"Mistress, Kendall has been.I mean, Kendall was killed tonight."  
  
The rage radiated from within her making Sebastian pull back in fear that it may be he who would be accused and punished.  
  
"How? You were supposed to watch him, I gave you specific orders and you were not to disobey them! Come to me."  
  
"But sire,"  
  
"Now!"  
  
Sebastian bent his head forward as he trudged slowly to Alethea, hoping that the pain of his failure would not be too great. Lifting his head finally he knew better now than to speak without being asked first to explain. He had disappointed her before, in ways much less significant, and could still feel the sting of slaps given a million and a half-hours ago. This certainly wasn't going to be pleasant. Finally she spoke, pulling him closer as she did so.  
  
"I have lost two childer in my life, and all I have to show for it is you. I would trade you in one moment for the life of Vera, you surely must know that."  
  
"Yes sire,"  
  
"And tonight I lose Kendall, because for some reason you decided you need not protect him."  
  
"There were five of them including William the bloody, I couldn't have done anything, I couldn't have saved him."  
  
"He was drained two nights ago Sebastian! Something that you know full well about, do I need to teach you again how long it takes to recover from something like that?"  
  
"But you sent him out last night, you knew he wasn't well and yet you sent him anyway!"  
  
Immediately Sebastian knew what mistake he had made. In the vampire world there was no reason to ever accuse your sire of anything. Even if blame was due you just didn't do it.  
  
"Are you saying that Kendall's death is my fault? How dare you!"  
  
Immediately a blow to his jaw but he could not nor would he retaliate. He had broken a rule, he knew it, and he deserved whatever it was she would give him.  
  
Minutes later it was over, Sebastian, a crumpled heap lying on the floor begging for mercy received it. He would not be allowed to feed for three days, he would not be allowed in her presence for three days, and most importantly, he would go out every night to continue his watch over Spike trying not to get himself staked while doing so.  
  
Alethea left her childe to himself, hoping that he would think over why he had been beaten and how it could be remedied in the future. She was sick of having to do things herself, she needed another childe that would do what it was told and would cause no problems but until then, she would also keep an eye on both Spike and Buffy. One week was certain to go fast, but in the meantime, she didn't want anything happening that shouldn't be happening. Spike had killed Kendall, and that was fine, not because she had lost another of her childer, but because he was weak. Because she never like the way Kendall did things that she told him to do. He followed orders when they were given, but he always had too much of his own mind for things to really get done. He should have never have been drained two days ago. And Spike should have known better than to drain a vampire that he wasn't the sire of, but he didn't. Things were going to be a little bit more complicated if William wasn't going to play by the rules, and she seemed a little thrilled by the thought of a real game.  
  
The one thing she didn't like though was the fact that Buffy had somehow mysteriously disappeared. Without knowing where her adversary was she most likely wouldn't be able to intimidate her, she wouldn't be able to follow her every move. Alethea wondered why Buffy would leave town this close to a prophecy, was she running away? Did she know something that she shouldn't? The way she and Spike had been it didn't seem that she would leave him for the world. Well, there was always time for those thoughts later, after paying a little visit to Spike. She hadn't seen him in a hundred some years, and thought that it was most likely time to pay a visit to an old friend.  
  
Alethea retreated to her dressing room but was surprised to hear a soft knock on the door minutes later. She quickly dismissed the idea of it being Sebastian, called out for the caller to give their name and slowly opened the door once she had gotten it. It seemed that at least one of her informants had gathered some useful information and Alethea ushered the girl to sit.  
  
"What have you discovered?"  
  
"Buffy's gone on a little trip to London." The girl slowly brushed a stray lock of blond hair aside with her thumb.  
  
"And?"  
  
"She's gone to get Spike's soul."  
  
A wide smile spread across the vampire's face and she gleefully clapped her hands.  
  
"Spike's not going to like this," she laughed happy in her new found fact, "he's not going to like it one bit." 


	9. New Information

Disclaimer: I own no part of BTVS and have no affiliation with the TV stations that show it or own it.  
  
Authors Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't written for a month or more. My life has been a mess, what with dealing with death and depression and all so I hope you all don't take it personally. It's not my lack of love for this story or the fans of it that caused me not to write, it's the love for my boyfriend who's only just died. I hope to be updating more often although you will certainly know why I do not if it falls behind again. Thanks all -Grace  
  
The sky was a bright shade of orange and she sat, bound by her hands and feet to a large metal office chair. There was no one in sight but she got the very distinct feeling that someone was close by. Laurea could see that there were no doors, no windows, and more obviously, no ceiling to this building. Interesting, she thought, I wonder what they do about the rain? Suddenly a flash of light, the Slayer's face appeared, obviously in pain, blood draining from a wound at her neck and onto the floor. Flash yet to another scene, one of William and two others running full force down a hallway, weapons in hand. Flash once again to the closed room, the orange sky above her, this time a knife pressed to her throat. The face behind her was one she knew, one that had promised her no harm. Her blood spilled, filling the throats of those who devoured her.  
  
She awoke with a snap, eyes flashing immediately to re-orient her with where she was. She was safe, holed up in a hotel room three blocks away from Spikes crypt. She ran her hands under the bathroom faucet, splashing water gently on her face and neck. She'd had dreams of Spike in the past, nothing of importance until the dream two weeks ago, before she'd decided to come to Sunnydale. She'd seen Spike in trouble; of course she didn't know that it was he at the time. Just some blonde vampire that she could never identify, she never in a thousand years guessed that her great uncle would be the same man. The dream she'd had that first concerned her so had something to do with the blond vampire being tortured, sun and holy water being mostly the culprits. By whom she couldn't tell, why she didn't know. It turned out only to be dumb luck that brought her to that exact same blonde vampire.  
  
The thing that bothered her the most thought, about this dream, was the fact that she had died in it. She could still feel the tear of the knife as it traced its way across her neck. Not exactly the most pleasant experience and the thing that burned her most was the person who had done it.  
  
When Alethea had first approached her, looking for a seer, she had agreed to do so on one condition. That no harm comes to her after the prophecy was complete, that she get sort of a "get out of jail free card." Foolishly she accepted Alethea's promise as 100% fact. How she could have been so daft, god, she should have known not to trust the word of a vampire. Her visions were never wrong, or at least they hadn't been so far. It didn't mean things couldn't be changed if they were caught soon enough, it however did mean that it would get to that point if things weren't changed. If she wasn't careful, she was going to lose her life for sure.  
  
It took her less than five minutes to reach Spikes crypt; god, she'd never seen so many demons stalking around in her life. She half expected to be someone's dinner but thankfully the spell Alethea had done on her seemed to be working, she had been glared and growled at, but so far hadn't been attacked. Maybe the Powers that Be were looking out for her.  
  
The third knock brought forth a deep growl and a slur of words from the other side of the door. Vampires didn't sleep at night right? Hopefully he wouldn't be too angry about her intrusion.  
  
"Uh, L.Laurea.normally I'd say nice to see you, but.you do know it's four in the morning right?" he asked confused at her presence.  
  
"William," she started, pushing him aside as she rushed into the room. "I've got something to say that I really think you should hear."  
  
"Come in won't you?"  
  
She spun quickly to face him just as he finished closing the door. Who knew a vampire could be so attractive? Maybe if she wasn't related to him, and he wasn't a vampire, she'd think about making a move on him. Another life another time. Besides, he probably had a girlfriend seeing as how he smelled so good.  
  
"I'm a seer, and you're in trouble."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You, me, Buffy. Seeing as how they need her blood to open the portal to hell, I figure if we can keep her from the hell mouth things will turn out fine. I did something really stupid, and I think that I can help stop this prophecy."  
  
"I think we need to start at the beginning. I don't know anything about the Slayers blood."  
  
"Remember how I said I had dreams with you in them? I just had another one tonight. I was killed, Buffy was alive, but bleeding from a bite wound at her neck, and you and two other people were running down a hallway loaded down with weapons."  
  
"Where did this all take place?"  
  
"Somewhere without a roof, I'm not exactly sure. I've got to confess to something; I didn't exactly come here to Sunnydale just to see you. I was recruited by this vampiress Alethea for my seeing abilities."  
  
"Alethea?" He thought to himself, the word almost familiar but not quite recognizable. He closed his eyes to think, repeating the name silently.  
  
"Of the Orobas clan."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Why would I lie? Listen, I'm sorry about not telling you but I thought I had immunity, turns out she was lying about that. There's something else you need to know. I know where Buffy is, and I know why she's there. Now, I'll tell you what I know, but only because Alethea already knows it and is going to try to turn you against the Slayer with the information."  
  
"Tell me where she is. Is she in trouble?"  
  
"No, you need to take this with a grain of salt."  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"Buffy's in London, she's gone to get something from the council."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let me explain before you freak out. She's there to get your soul." Spikes jaw immediately clenched. How could she do this to him? "But it's not for the reason you think. She's not going to curse you with that soul. She's attaching it to herself for some other reason."  
  
For the life of him he couldn't think of why. They needed to talk to Giles, and soon. With the prophecy only a week and a half away they certainly needed time to develop a strategy.  
  
"Okay, come on let's go."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"To talk to Buffy's watcher. He's the brains behind this prophecy stuff, he'll definitely be grateful for this new information."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah, well, at least you came to us with it before the shit hit the fan."  
  
"I never meant to hurt anyone."  
  
"I don't think you have.Yet. And about that Buffy thing, let's just keep that between the two of us huh? I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't want her friends to know. At least not until I can find out why she's there for my soul." 


	10. 24 hours

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a wonderful show that is in no part due to me. I like the show, but I don't claim rights to it or wish to violate those rights for whoever possesses them.  
  
Author note: Thanks to NotAnExit1 and OldWound for your recent reviews, you're the reason that I have the energy to update. Also thanks to all of my other faithful readers. Enjoy! -Grace  
  
My meeting with the council is less than an hour away and surprisingly enough I don't think I'm freaking out too badly. It took me nearly two hours to dress today, knowing that I would be sitting in front of a panel of highly suspicious council members today drove my attire from what would have otherwise been comfortable, to finally, a tweed suit. I'm so glad Giles isn't here, I would never live it down and probably would be the talk of my friends for a good while. Me in my tweed suit going to the council for a vampire's soul.  
  
The Limos late and that seems to be making me only more jittery because I find myself once again, pacing from the front door of the hotel to the front desk. Things will be fine, things are fine, a couple hours and I'm on my way home. If only that were all there is to it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's not. Firstly, I have absolutely no clue as to what this little ritual is going to entail, secondly, the fact that I didn't wait to hear Spikes reply to my I love you before hanging up is driving me insane. God Buffy, couldn't you have at least waited for some sort of response? Okay, so totally disregard the earlier comment about me not freaking out too badly, I am a mass of frayed nerves right now, and the fact that Winston the Limo driver is late is just another log on the fire.  
  
Maybe I made the wrong decision coming to London right away when there were so many other things happening in Sunnydale. Sure, I thought that this was the right thing to do, but now I'm starting to wonder. I haven't heard a single thing regarding the upcoming prophecy and that is starting to bother me a little bit, the fact that my friends could be fighting a truly terrible adversary as I sit here. I was selfish to think I could get it all done within a week. Well, a week and a half, but same difference.  
  
"Oh thank god!" I shout out loud as I see the shiny black car pulling into the parking lot.  
  
Finally, time to go, check the clock once again, for what has to be the four hundredth time in ten minutes. 9:32, okay, will be there by ten, no reason to worry, settle down Buffy. Well, I guess I finally I figured out why I was feeling so rambunctious these past couple days, the meeting with the council must have been on my mind even before I know it was going to happen. Winston curtly apologizes for his tardiness and ushers me into the car. Minutes later we're back on the expressway in the direction that we had come from yesterday. God it's hot, I swear this is the last time I'll ever wear tweed in my life.  
  
"Have you spoken to the Council this morning Winston?" I ask him, longing for some sort of conversation to keep my mind off of what is about to occur.  
  
"Yes Miss Summers, they were awaiting your arrival, and seemed quite excited about getting this ritual through with."  
  
"What?" I stop dead in my tracks "They told you that they were going to do the ritual? How.How did they even know what I was here for?"  
  
"They have their ways I am sure."  
  
"Yes." I reply slightly confused "I'm sure they do. Did they happen to stipulate the requirements for me obtaining his soul?"  
  
"No Miss, I'm sorry they did not. I'm sure that director Travers will inform you of their needs when you arrive."  
  
Well, this either just got a whole lot easier or a whole lot harder; I'm not sure which. I wonder how they could have possibly known what I was coming for, and more importantly, I wonder if they will ask for anything in return? I could always try to play the old "I'm the Vampire Slayer Card" and pressure them into doing it with the knowledge of an upcoming prophecy. Maybe they won't even want anything in return. Sure, likely that is, this is the Council, since when haven't they asked for anything in return? I just hope that it isn't too big of a request, and I hope that at least I'll be able to do whatever they ask of me. Well, I smile at the thought I Spike and I together, they're going to do the ritual, I'm going to have Spikes soul, and I'm going to have Spike.  
  
The drive was rather short considering we're already stopping and as Winston opens the door I look up at the incredibly large glass building in front of me. Can anyone say overly dramatic? The building must be at least 75 floors tall, because from my standpoint, it seems like it goes on forever. Winston is kind enough to lead me to the door before turning back to the car, and eventually, driving away. I watch the car as it fades into the distance before I finally pull open one of the doors and step into the foyer.  
  
"May I help you?" A small voice from the side of the room questions and I turn to address what seems to be a security officer.  
  
"Uh, yes. I'm.I mean.my name is Buffy Summers, I believe I am expected at ten." Why doesn't anything I say ever sound normal?  
  
"Yes Miss Summers, I'll ring through to let them know you're here."  
  
The guard lifts the phone to his ear, announcing my arrival to whomever it is that is listening on the other end. I smile at him as he talks, more of a nervous reflex than anything else, and try to reassure myself once again that it's almost over and that in a matter of hours I'll be out of here on my way back to Sunnydale. Back to my friends, back to Giles, and now, more than ever, back to Spike; My Spike. Also back to the impending prophecy that I have yet to diffuse. The guard catches my attention with a nod and points in the direction of a steel wall.  
  
"Um, excuse me, but I think that you're a little confused, there are stairs over there, but uh, sir, that's a wall."  
  
He just smiles and points once again and this time, when I look, the wall is gone, replaced instead by a long bright hallway. Hmm, that's interesting, one minute there's a wall, the next minute there's a corridor. As I step through the space where the wall should have been I turn to wave back at the security guard, thanking him for his patience and his help. Suddenly the wall slides up from the floor back up into place, who would have ever known that there was a secret wall there. Very ingenious and kind of scary, I wonder what else this place hides that I don't know about.  
  
I'm met by a small framed woman in a pink pant suit half way down the hall and she directs me to a room on the left. She seems kind enough, although I don't think I've ever seen her before, and I hope that maybe she'll be the one that leads me through this whole ritual process.  
  
"Director Travers is waiting for you along with the rest of the board, good luck."  
  
"But what about you?" I ask quickly before she closes the door, "aren't you coming in?"  
  
"I'm just a secretary Miss Summers, I have no right to be in there."  
  
One the door is closed behind me I am forced to turn and face the thirteen faces staring back at me. I take a deep breath before starting forward. I recognize Quentin right away and say my hellos to those few that I do know.  
  
"Buffy, how wonderful to see you again." Quentin speaks up and I cringe. Just the sound of that mans voice gives me the willies. "Please, have a seat."  
  
I gently sit down in the giant leather chair at the end of the table, trying to look as professional as possible although in my head I can only laugh at my feeble attempts to do so.  
  
"So lets get right to the chase shall we?"  
  
I can only nod, my throat suddenly very dry.  
  
"We have decided to give you William the Bloody's soul, there is however one condition."  
  
"And that would be?" I manage to squeak out  
  
"We have discovered that you are romantically interested in Spike. Now, we all know what happened when you and Angelus were together."  
  
Shit, I can see what's coming; they're going to give me Spikes soul as long as I don't get involved with him. This certainly isn't turning out as well as it should have. What am I going to do now? I can't say that I'll stay away from him. I can't promise them that to get his soul. I just nod as he talks, hoping that he isn't going to say what I think he's going to say.  
  
"We will give you Spike's soul, and we will not keep you from being involved with him romantically even though we do not agree with it as long as you agree to this one thing."  
  
If they don't really have a problem dating Spike then what else could it possibly be? My mind is completely blank as I glance around the room at all of the faces assembled there. Right now I just feel so uncomfortable I wish I were anywhere but here. Just tell me already so we can get it over with. Tell me so I can get all of this over with and go home. Without even realizing it I let out a loud sigh, was I really holding my breath that long?  
  
"Okay, lay it on me"  
  
"If William the Bloody regresses, if he starts killing humans again, if he goes back to his old ways for any reason, you will end his un-life. That is our condition."  
  
"That's it?" I ask them suspicious about if there isn't more to come of their little condition.  
  
"That's it." One of the board members that I don't know speaks up "will you accept?"  
  
"Yes." I say immediately, not having to think about what they are requesting of me. Spike will never go back to his old ways; I won't let him. And he'll never think that he needs to. Immediately everyone is smiling and I wonder why. What's going on that I don't know about?  
  
"Then lets continue shall we?"  
  
I nod.  
  
"First there are a couple of guidelines that you need to know about this particular ritual. One, you will be given Spike's soul in two pieces, one piece shall be attached to your own soul, the second half will be kept here."  
  
From his jacket pocket is produced a small wooden box and he slides it across the table to me. I look up at him and he nods his approval that I open it. Inside I find a beautiful gold ring with a small amber colored stone set in it. The ring is engraved and I hold it up to the light slightly so that I can read the words.  
  
'Never be released' I read silently to myself. Okay, well, at least it makes some sense. "What is else should I know?"  
  
"If there is ever a time when you need to reattach Spikes soul to his body, you will need both parts of his soul. If you loose this ring, you loose part of his soul and it cannot be restored. This is it Buffy, you're dealing with very serious issues now. Are you prepared to hold another soul within yourself? There is no going back if you decide William is not the one you want to be with. Once his soul is combined with yours, there is no way to get rid of it unless you cast it back into him. Are you truly prepared to do this?"  
  
"I have a question. I won't feel anything right? I won't be any different with his soul attached to me will I?"  
  
"No, you'll be exactly the same."  
  
"Good. Is that it?"  
  
I hate to admit it, but I'd have to say that I'm a little bit nervous, with all of these people looking at me, waiting for the ritual to begin. What the hell did I do? Not doubting my relationship with Spike, just wondering why I needed to do this right now, why I couldn't have waited.  
  
"Yes, if you're ready we will proceed with the ritual now. This type of spell will drain you of most of your strength, you will be taken care of over the next twenty-four hours however, and you probably won't wake up until that time is over with."  
  
"Why does it take so long?"  
  
"When the spell is performed you will need to use all of your energy just to keep yourself alive Buffy. The moment Spikes soul is transferred into you, you will feel everything he has ever felt, you will see everything he has ever seen, you will be everywhere he has ever been, you will remember everything he has ever done. Of course this is only temporary and once you awaken you will remember nothing of it, but it will take awhile before the soul settles into its new home. Twenty-four hours is usually enough to get over the initial shock, and to regain your strength. It may even be sooner considering that you've got advanced healing powers because you're a Slayer."  
  
The candles have been lit around the circle; the flames throwing interesting shadows on the wall that seem oh so familiar. I'm seated at the center of the circle holding the golden ring in my hand, not having the guts yet to put in on my finger. My eyes are closed and I'm holding a vision of Spike in my mind's eye. He's smiling, something that he rarely does except for me and I smile thinking that maybe wherever he is right now he'll feel it and smile in return. I'm feeling very content at the moment, barely even aware of the twelve chanting board members all around me. I feel warm and cozy as if I'm lying in bed on a slow Sunday morning, or better yet, lying in bed with the covers wrapped tightly around both Spike and I. I feel all tingly like my whole body has fallen asleep but doesn't ache like it does when only your leg or your foot has fallen asleep.  
  
Spike's motioning for me to follow him into his crypt and I follow him obediently, hoping that this time, there will be no fighting, no harsh words, just his body wrapped around mine, sweet words whispered to each other, lips upon lips. I close the door; and turn, hoping to see him close enough that I can just reach out and touch him but he is nowhere. I can hear the faint chanting off in the distance; barely even there and my eyes are drawn to a leather bound book sitting on top of the refrigerator. Amazingly I pull it down without even getting a chair to reach it, it's old, but familiar and I almost hate to look at it. It's part of my past that I don't want to remember but I for some reason or other flip open the creased cover and that's when the memories come flooding through as I crumple to the floor. 


	11. Research

Disclaimer: Don't own BTVS, don't own the characters, and don't own anything else except for Alethea, the Orobas clan, Sebastian, Sylvia, Kendall, and Vera. Well, I guess I can say that I own those because they come straight from my own mind.  
  
Authors note: Two chapters in one day! I'm really on a role now aren't I? Thanks to my faithful readers and reviewers and I hope you enjoy. -Grace  
  
Giles lifted his head briefly before drowning out the incessant knocking with a well-placed pillow over his ears. He lifted the bedside clock to where he could see the red numbers glaring 4:36 and groaned. Only one person would wake him up like this and he didn't exactly want to see him right now. The banging at his door continued and regretfully Giles pulled himself from the bed, throwing a housecoat around himself and lazily making his way to the door. The sound of Spikes voice from the other side was enough for him to hurry a bit, he certainly didn't need the neighbors complaining about a noise violation at four in the morning.  
  
"Wait a goddamn minute will you?" he muttered quietly before throwing open the door. "You'd better have a damn good reason for waking me up this time of morning, vampire!"  
  
"Well Rupert, good to see you too."  
  
"Just for the record Spike, Buffy is not scheduled to call so if you're thinking of spending the night again you can just forget." for the first time Giles seemed to notice the blond girl standing by Spike's side. "You know, for someone who supposedly loves Buffy so much you sure move on quickly in her absence."  
  
"Get over the shock old man, this is my great niece, not my date, alright? Now focus will you?"  
  
"What is so important that you're here once again at four in the morning? I somehow doubt that it's just my company you're looking for."  
  
"Right you are, as I was saying, this is my great niece Laurea and she's a seer. She's got some information on this upcoming prophecy that I think may be helpful."  
  
At those words Giles stuck out his hand in greeting and Laurea kindly took it, shaking it while being ushered inside by the older man. Spike followed the two of them and after pulling a beer from the fridge, fell comfortably onto the couch. Giles excused himself for a moment to his room and returned fully dressed and obviously more comfortable than he had been in the housecoat. Laurea found a seat in one of the armchairs and after refusing a beverage from the host of the household, began her story from the beginning. Although Spike already knew most of it, he listened intently anyway, hoping that he would be able to discover something of why Buffy had gone to London to get his soul.  
  
"So how is it that you two have come to be related?"  
  
"Spike's sister was my great grandmother, that's how. I didn't come to Sunnydale to get to know Spike; however, I was recruited by a vampiress named Alethea for my seeing abilities. Meeting Spike was just sort of a bonus you know? I had seen him in my dreams before, but of course at that time I didn't know he was my great uncle, just that he was some miscellaneous blonde vampire that was in trouble somewhere. My ability isn't very fine-tuned; it seems to be more of a wide beacon type thing. It was completely a coincidence that my great uncle and that blonde vampire were one in the same."  
  
"How do we know that you're still not working with Alethea and here to get information from us?"  
  
"Well, I guess my word is it. When Alethea brought me to Sunnydale she told me that after the prophecy I would get sort of a get out of jail free card."  
  
"Get out of hell free card you mean." Spike quietly mumbled before taking another swig of beer.  
  
"Please continue Laurea." Giles pleaded after Spikes blatant disregard of manners "Spike will be quiet from this point on."  
  
"I trusted her, I believed her, she sold me on the thought. I should have realized before that she never intended to keep that promise. Vampire's don't have morals."  
  
"Uh, excuse me? Vampire here, and just because some of the breed aren't exactly trustworthy, doesn't mean that we all aren't. I happen to have kept a lot of promises in my day."  
  
"Oh, sorry William I."  
  
"Spike, Laurea, Spike."  
  
"Right, Spike I wasn't thinking, sorry?"  
  
"So long as it doesn't happen again."  
  
Giles rolled his eyes at the conversation playing out in front of his eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had apologized to Spike and actually meant it. He was still amazed that Spike actually had family and that this particular "family" wanted to have anything to do with him. She was a seer after all, well, at least that's what she claimed, shouldn't she know what Spike is really like? Shouldn't she be able to feel the evil just boiling beneath this skin? The Council would really be insane if they ever gave Buffy Spikes soul, not that he wanted to see Buffy hurt, it was just that he knew she could do so much better for herself than Spike.  
  
"What made you finally realize that Alethea was just using you?"  
  
"I had a dream, about two hours ago now, it showed a lot of things, some things pertaining to the prophecy, but the one thing that bothered me the most was Alethea slashing my throat and letting her minions feed off of my blood. That pretty much gave me the "she's not the best person in the world" vibe. Besides, I saw Buffy in this dream, and I realized that I just couldn't let that happen to an innocent person."  
  
Giles nodded his understanding, seemingly in agreement with what she was saying. He couldn't think of anyway that this Alethea would benefit by sending her seer out to meet with the so-called enemies. He'd seen enough people lie in his life to know that she wasn't. The fact that she was related to Spike just freaked him out to say the least and he'd remember to check up on that fact later on, to make absolute sure that she wasn't just using Spike as a way to get close to the gang. No, better yet, he'd call Willow and have her do a truth spell on her, that would work just as well if not better and it wouldn't take so much time. Too bad it was only five, well, they'd been up that early for prophecies before and they certainly all deserved to be in on whatever Laurea knew. He picked up the phone and dialed Willows number.  
  
An hour later everyone was seated around Giles living room coffee table, waiting for the meeting to start and waiting for Xander to show. Spike was on his fourth beer and Giles had officially cut him off, stating that if he was going to be of any help at all, that he would have to be completely focused. Spike grudgingly complied thinking that it would show well on him in Buffy's eyes when she got back from London. He thought to himself of how when everyone left he would be sure to ask the watcher just what he knew about Buffy's oh so sudden disappearance.  
  
"Where is Xander anyway?"  
  
"He said he was going to stop and get some donuts but it shouldn't have taken this long, for gods sakes, he's had nearly an hour to do it." Anya pulled the blanket tighter around her before closing her eyes "will you just wake me up when he gets here?"  
  
"Your donuts have arrived!" Xander announced as he threw the door open "no need to worry any longer."  
  
"Well, that's bloody wonderful, can we get on with it now? A blokes got to sleep you know, not to mention the whole sun issue doesn't seem to bode well with me. And as I'm sure we all know, there's less than an hour to go so I suggest we forget the damn donuts and get to the talking."  
  
"Oh great, who invited the great un-dead? Did he really need to be here?" Xander stopped mid rant to look at the new face in the circle. "And who exactly is this?"  
  
"I'll tell you who she's not," Anya pulled the blanket from her face "your girlfriend, I am."  
  
"Jeez Ahn, I just thought I'd introduce myself is all."  
  
"Laurea, this is Xander, my boyfriend, he's a little strange and so there'll be no need to flirt with him. There." she turned back to Xander taking his hand and pulling him onto the couch with her "better?"  
  
"Willow, are you ready to do the spell?" Giles questioned the redhead while pulling another bottle from Spikes hands.  
  
"Yeah, Tara just has to finish lighting the candles and we're good to go. You're not scared are you?"  
  
"A little I guess, all of this" Laurea motioned her hand across the room "is sort of new to me you know?"  
  
"You'll be fine, just sit back and enjoy."  
  
It didn't take the witches long to find what they were looking for, Laurea was completely pure when it came to lies, it hardly seemed like she had told a lie in her life she was that clear. Every question that any of them could shoot her way always came back as truth, even Giles questions about her relationship with Spike. Well, he at least had to say he was glad that Spike hadn't been lying about being her great uncle. And it also seemed that from any other viewpoint, Laurea was telling them all the truth about everything. About having been recruited by Alethea, about the dreams, about all of it.  
  
"So this prophecy, what do you know about it?"  
  
"Not much I'm afraid, I'm just the seer, but I have seen Buffy bleeding from a bite wound, and I do know that her blood is needed to open the portal to the hell dimensions. Other than that I cannot say, the building is the only other thing that I've seen. It's very large, like a big warehouse or office building, but it doesn't have a roof. I don't know why that is, there must be some reason."  
  
"It's far past time that we had this conversation, we should have all gotten together weeks ago, now, we only have a week and a half before it happens. Buffy's gone, we still don't know exactly what's happening, but at least now we have a starting point. Willow, you and Tara will look up Alethea and the Orobas clan won't you? Xander and Anya, you're going to need to start stockpiling weapons. Chances are that we're going to need a great amount of them and so don't skimp, and I will research the event itself and Laurea, well, you just stay away from Alethea. She's probably got minions out looking around and I'm sure that they'll have seen you by now, move into Spikes crypt for the time being, he is probably the only one besides Buffy that is strong enough to protect you from Alethea and the rest of the Orobas clan. Now, what is it that we do know?"  
  
"Well," Willow began quietly "the prophecy is going to happening in seven days at midnight. And by what it says here, Buffy's blood will be shed to open the portal but it won't be taken forcefully. Why would it say that?"  
  
"I'm really pretty sure she's not just going to hand it over" Spike announced "wonder how they're planning on getting it then? I'll ask around, maybe one of the newer demons in town knows."  
  
Giles nodded his agreement before returning to the book he had been reading out of. This was going to be a long process, it seemed like there was hardly anything written anywhere about this particular prophecy and he was rather surprised they hadn't found what they needed yet. Never were these things so secretive, weren't there any more texts that they could gain information from? Had the Council forgotten to send something when they forwarded everything they had to him? Things were falling apart and there was only seven days until the possible end of the world. He closed his eyes a moment, unknowingly cleaning his glasses as he did so.  
  
"Please Buffy, finish whatever it is that is keeping you so long, we need you more than ever now."  
  
He glanced among the group, at all of the serious faces, at all of the youth still there, at all of the life in this room and for the first time since Glory allowed the thought that they just might not make it seep into his brain. How could they possibly stop a prophecy that they knew nothing about? 


	12. Alethea

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of BTVS, Joss, and Mutant Enemy, Fox and other people and companies do. Therefore I will take no credit for the characters except for my own characters that I've added. I also don't take credit for anything else that I could possibly be sued for.  
  
Authors note: Lert, this is a special message for you. I was a little put off by your first review, but I really am thankful that you left a second one to clarify exactly why you were telling me why you hated my story. I know how it is to loose someone, I've just lost someone myself and I hope that you feel better soon about it. I know you will get over him, everyone always does. My support and thanks to you for liking most of my story except for the love part, review again if you feel the need. Also thanks to my other readers, and please review, my goal is to get at least one new review with each chapter I post. Thanks all -Grace  
  
I couldn't have possibly left before the sun came up could I? Just missed running through the streets and sewers with a blanket way too much I guess. Wouldn't be happy in my life if I wasn't teetering on the edge of un- life/death. I clutch the thick wool blanket tighter, it seems to be beginning to slip a bit, and finally dart through the doorway of my crypt, throwing the smoking blanket to the floor and stomping on it. Never quite figured out why the blankets I use insist on setting themselves on fire, I guess it can only have something to do with my potentially bursting into flame. And as Buffy's said in the past at one point or another, 'Vampires, sun, bad." Well I'd have to quite agree with that. Not that I wasn't aware of the fact of it before my Slayer pointed it out at all. For some reason I'm sure I'd have gotten along without her observations.  
  
I'm currently stomping angrily on the blanket, trying to extinguish what seems to be a very determined little flame when I sense her presence. Not that I wasn't expecting a visit from her at some point, I'm just so glad that Laurea chose to stay behind and help the Scoobies in their research. It certainly wouldn't be a good thing for her to see the two of us together, suddenly knowing that her seer has turned to the Slayers friends for help.  
  
"Alethea," I straighten myself, turning to face her just slightly "I'd say good to see you, except for that I'm not."  
  
"Spike, it's been a hell of a long time hasn't it? What, almost a hundred years I'd say? Miss me?"  
  
"Yeah, I've been incredibly heartbroken over the fact that I haven't been abused by you in a century. I know what brings you back so we don't need to have that conversation. Question I guess would be why you've taken on the challenge of this particular prophecy, and what your plans are."  
  
"Sorry that you haven't been able to find much in the texts and chronicles, but you know me, once I get my hands on something good, I just have to destroy it."  
  
"Guess that would explain why we're not finding anything then wouldn't it? You've taken it upon yourself to relieve us of the opportunity."  
  
"I am very disappointed in you Spike, what ever happened to you? What happened to the monster in the man? What ever happened to your love of the hunt? A Vampire that doesn't kill is sort of like a car that doesn't run. It's become trash and I'd have to say the same for you."  
  
"That's not very nice now is it?"  
  
I sit down in my chair, not taking my eyes off of her. We may both be Vampires, and both have certain codes of conduct, but I wouldn't doubt that she would break those codes in a second. After all, I did drain her minion, my fault entirely and do admit that I broke a big rule on that one.  
  
"He wasn't my minion Spike, he was my Childe"  
  
"What in the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"What you just said, Kendall wasn't my minion, and yes, you did break a rule. You'll be punished for that in the end."  
  
"So, still reading minds are you?"  
  
"Only yours. I've got a nice little seat right up there settled in your brain, I've been watching everything that you've been doing for the last few weeks. Firstly, I really am quite disappointed that you took it upon yourself to steal my seer, you do know how much I needed her, and it is not kind" she adds with a bitter look in my direction "to steal things that belong to others."  
  
"You were going to kill her Alethea,"  
  
"Formalities, formalities. Secondly, I feel quite bad for you, falling in love with a Slayer? You do know that she is in London negotiating with the council for your soul don't you? Of course, our dear soon to be departed Laurea let you in on that little bit of information. Bitch. Are you really that in love? So much so that after a day you can not be without her?" She cocks her head and puts a pout on her lips, imitating my voice as best she can. "She sounds exactly as I remember her, the sun and the moon, fire and rain all in one. God." Returning to her usual self quickly "makes me want to choke. I knew you in your prime Spike, what happened to you? Half a day has got you love sick over a Vampire Slayer, hanging on her like a lost puppy."  
  
"For your information, Buffy hasn't been exactly cordial to me this whole time I've been here in Sunnydale, actually up until three days ago, I couldn't get a decent word out of her. Of course I miss her, I've only just gotten the crumb I've always been waiting for and she takes off for London? She's always been the sun and the moon, fire and rain to me. I've just never been able to admit it up until.bloody hell, why am I explaining this to you? And I'd appreciate you getting out of my head, I really don't appreciate you crawling around in there."  
  
"Slim chance that's going to happen"  
  
"I guess I'll just have to take you out of there then won't I? I kill you, and the prophecy; as they say, goes to hell in a hand basket."  
  
I jump from my chair taking a step in her direction, stake in hand from who knows where. Must have been shoved down into between the cushion and the frame of the chair for some reason. I wonder if Buffy put it there. She raises her hand lightly, and I know that she is unafraid of me. Nearly three hundred years older than I am, yet I maintain my threat. I won't back down and she of all people should know that. That's one thing that hasn't changed from the old to the new me. I never backed down in the past, and I certainly won't start now. Woman thinks she can come into my home, into my head, without any consequences? I stand my ground, waiting for some sign of a fight but she stands there stiff faced, completely emotionless. Oh well, the more willing the opponent the better but doesn't matter in the least to me. I lunge forward, when suddenly I'm hit by a bright spray of sparks erupting from her palm, setting tiny fires on my shirt. I tear it off, throwing it to the floor, in a moment it combusts, leaving nothing but ash lying on my floor.  
  
"That's a warning William, next time it will be more than your shirt that goes up in flames. I'm going to give you a choice, join us and live after we complete the prophecy, or stay with your Slayer and die."  
  
"No decision there, I'd choose Buffy every time."  
  
"Thought you would, it only makes it more interesting you know. I never did like Angelus as much as I liked you. It's a pity that you don't feel the same way about my clan."  
  
I drop the stake, realizing that if I can't get past her magic mojo, neither will the group. And If I don't get her out of my head, the group won't get anywhere without her knowing what we're planning to do. I have to say, I really hadn't thought of the Orobas clan in a long time before all of this came up. Last time I'd even seen any of them was Vera in New York, maybe that's why Alethea has warm feelings towards me after all these years. Because back then, I saved Vera a lot of times, we were pals the two of us, never sexually involved, just sort of partners in crime. She never really was cautious concerning anything, just went straight out and did things without thinking of the outcome. Strong girl she was, like a sister to me, there were good times back then. Perhaps I'd never have even killed that Slayer in New York had she not killed Vera first; maybe I was just trying to avenge the one person that meant something to me back then.  
  
"You know Spike, Vera would have been one of the first ones to begin this prophecy. You know that right? She would have done a hell of a job at it too."  
  
Is that a small tinge of sadness in her voice that I hear? Could be, but I'm not going to let it get to me, Vera's gone, and it's probably for the best. I'd have never met Buffy and fallen in love with her if Vera were alive. I wouldn't be the man that I am today because Sunnydale wasn't even a dot on the horizon back then. I don't think I'd have ever come here to begin with. I smile at the thought of Buffy and know that everything has turned out the way that it's supposed to.  
  
"Get out Alethea, I've got things to do," I tap the side of my head with my finger "people to get rid of."  
  
"As you wish, just don't forget that I gave you the choice, and that you refused to take it."  
  
She disappears in a flash of light and smoke and I stare at where she stood, wondering if Vera was around if Alethea would be doing this. After all, I'm 100% sure now that part of the reason for opening up the hell dimensions is to try and find which one Vera is stuck in. I think back over our conversation, really she didn't reveal too much about her plans and I'm a little disappointed about that. I did however get two things out of it that may help us; first, she destroyed most of the information on what we're dealing with so it really won't help to look for anything else. Second, that she's still reading minds; more importantly mine, and we're going to have to figure something out to get her out of there. She never was able to read the thoughts of humans in the past, I wonder if she's picked that up somewhere along the way. I'm so absorbed in my thoughts that I don't even notice Dawn as she enters the room, not until she's beside me tugging weakly on my shirt, drawing me from my thoughts. I lift me head and immediately see the tears rolling down her cheeks, I pull her into my arms, trying to comfort her from whatever it is that is on her mind. Whatever has sent her into the cemetery in search of me.  
  
"Quiet now pet, what's wrong, please stop crying, you can tell me can't you?"  
  
"I..it..home.."  
  
She breaks in to sobs once more and this time it is minutes before she is finally able to speak.  
  
"Buffy..Buffy's home and..and..S..Something's wrong with her." 


	13. Buffy

Disclaimer: None of the real characters are mine, neither is BTVS. Please don't sue.  
  
Authors Note: I am sooooo sorry about taking so long to update please all forgive me for that and also if this chapter is a little short also. Thanks all for still reading, you're the best. -G  
  
I can feel her presence even before I reach the front door and I hesitate only slightly before throwing the door wide open and continuing into the living room with Dawn on my heels. I hadn't asked much of what was wrong with her sister and she didn't offer so when I finally do lay eyes on Buffy I find myself sighing with relief. Not that things look especially good, but by Dawns earlier display of emotions I thought it would be much worse.  
  
The Slayer isn't hurt and for that I'm thankful, but something is definitely wrong with her and for the life of me I can't think of what. Dawn had mentioned something to me about Buffy not moving, and that much is clear too see, but the one thing that I don't quite understand is the why of it. I take her in my arms, cradling her drooping head against my chest and gently brush the hair back from her face. I shake her slightly but with no results and send Dawn to the Kitchen with the objective of getting a hold of the Watcher immediately. As soon as she is out of the room, I place Buffy back on the sofa and stand looking at her. Her heartbeat is labored and that's not good, her skin is ashen white and that bothers me even more than the fact that I can't seem to get her to wake. It's strange to see her without the usual golden glow to her, and I briefly imagine that this is exactly what she would look like as a vampire. I quickly shake the thought away, chastising myself that my thinking like this isn't going to help her at all in the long run. Dawn returns and sits by her sister, taking Buffy's hand in her own.  
  
"Okay, I really don't understand it Spike, right before I came to get you she was talking, and...and choking me. Now, there's nothing. I don't get it, I mean, she wasn't awake, but she was talking. I just don't see how she can just not be awake, what's wrong that she's not awake?"  
  
"She choked you?" I asked immediately pulling her into my arms for comfort "You okay pet?"  
  
"Yeah, I just...I needed to ask someone for help and I figured you'd know what to do, seeing as how you know her best and all. If she hadn't attacked me I probably wouldn't have bothered you but for some reason I just see that as really not normal Buffy."  
  
"You said she was talking, what was she saying? Do you remember any of it?" I look at the motionless body of the woman I love lying on the sofa; "Did the Watcher say when he'd be here?"  
  
"Half an hour I think, and no, I don't remember anything in particular, just talking, and it wasn't exactly like it was complete perfect grammar sentences Spike, just talk."  
  
"And she was just lying here when you came downstairs?"  
  
"Yep, and I was just down here a little while before too. I have absolutely no clue how she got here; I'm 100% sure that the door never opened because I'd have heard it. I went up for a blanket, came back down and here she was, that's when she jumped up and started choking me. I had to hit her with the lamp to get her off. I do feel really bad about that by the way, but hey, Slayer there, I'm thinking she can take getting smashed with a lamp. After all, you guys are always hitting each other all the time and she never seems too worse for ware."  
  
"She was talking when she jumped on you?" I have to flinch at Dawns comment, Buffy and I aren't fighting all of the time, I wonder if Buffy feels the same way.  
  
"Like a crazy person. Blah blah this, blah blah that, she'll be okay won't she? She's so going to owe me for this when she gets back to normal."  
  
"Yeah," I agreed distractedly "She'll be absolutely fine."  
  
I could have been wrong when I thought I'd heard the faint whimper from the general direction of the sofa but I wasn't. It took a few more seconds for the sound to be repeated but by then I was already at her side, listening intently to the silence between us, hoping that she would start talking again. Thankfully, it wasn't long before she did. It was soft at first, audible most likely only to my ears, the gentle rhythm of her sweet voice.  
  
"You can't do this, we're on the same...With You....Fight to the death...Blood....Soul...I have his Soul."  
  
At the last words I involuntarily straightened. So it was done, she had done what she had gone to do and she was in possession of my soul. I still couldn't for the life of me think of why she wanted it and what she could possibly do with it besides curse me with it. I didn't think that my soul would be the cause of her present illness but at the same time I couldn't think of anything else it could be. No one knew the way two souls would interact because to my knowledge, it hadn't really ever successfully been done. That of course didn't mean that it couldn't be done, just that it hadn't been done. I still really wasn't even clear as to why she had done it, why she had anchored my soul to hers, but somewhere deep down inside of me I felt warmth such as I had never felt before.  
  
It was a moment before I noticed it, but the movement on the sofa seemed barely real at all, just a wisp of flesh across my thigh before it was gone again, leaving me yearning for more of her touch. A smile spread slowly on her face and the scent of her arousal rose to my nostrils before I heard her voice again. "I missed you so much....thought I'd never see you again...love you....love..." It was almost too much for a man to take in, I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing but suddenly it all fell into place, the sudden trip to London, the kind words and gestures in the last few weeks, the possession of my soul without having been cursed. Suddenly it all made sense, the Slayer was in love with me. God why hadn't she told me what she was feeling, she knew all along my feelings for her, what was stopping her? Ah, the stupid soul idiot, the soul was keeping her from saying something. I should have been angry with her for still not being able to get past the whole soul thing but I wasn't. She wasn't judging me on a soul as every other so called "decent" person had always done, she was simply trying to protect her investment in me. After the mess Angelus made back when they were together, could I honestly blame her? She hadn't cursed me with it so that meant that she trusted me the way I was. There was nothing I wanted more right this moment than to wrap her in my arms, carry her up to that bedroom that I had watched her so many nights in and shag her right proper. Of course, there was still the little problem of unconscious Buffy that we had to deal with. And so I settled simply for slipping my hand into hers and holding her close against me once again.  
  
"Shoulda never...without you...god I love you...love you so much...."  
  
She continued her mumbling as I held her close and asked Dawn quietly if she would mind going out to wait for the Watcher. She suspiciously agreed and pulled her jacket on before marching out the front door into the night. My reasons for asking Dawn to leave had been two fold. One, it seemed Buffy's words were turning more to moans and gasps of pleasure than actual phrases and I'm sure the Slayer wouldn't want everyone standing around while she were in the midst of a seemingly wonderful sex dream. Two, the way things were going I was definitely going to need some time to get rid of the signs of my excitement before greeting the Scoobies and the Watcher, not that sitting here next to Buffy would help that when she was like this.  
  
I still can barely believe that she loves me, I find myself planning out the things that I'll say to her when she's feeling better and I find that I feel the most complete as I have felt in years, I can't find anything wrong with my life right now. Nothing besides the fact that I can't act on these physical urges as I wish I could. I lean gently over her and brush my lips to hers, barely even a kiss. There'll be time for everything else later, but for now, I need to make sure she'll be all right.  
  
"I love you Slayer, Always have, always will."  
  
I Brush a lose strand of hair from her face and kiss her once again. This is almost the perfect moment, if only she were awake, receptive of my advances, my words. I should have never have fallen for a Slayer but I don't regret it for a moment. My life without Buffy would be empty, meaningless, and worthless. Soul or not, I'm the happiest man on the face of this earth. Angel's got nothing on me now, absolutely fucking nothing. She stirs once again, lifting her hand to trace the contours of my face although she still doesn't open her eyes.  
  
"Love you too...Always love you Angel." 


	14. Out of London into Limbo

Disclaimer: BTVS is not my property nor will it ever be.  
  
I haven't moved from the Slayer's side since I arrived, and won't even when the Scoobies get here even though at this particular moment I don't exactly have a reason for staying. She's made her feelings quite clear with a comment that I now wish I would have missed. How unbelievably daft of me in the first place to actually think that my feeling toward her were returned. How could she love someone else, especially me, when she's never gotten over the poof? Always knew they would have a connection but I guess I never realized that she still loved him that much. I wonder if she even knows I'm here or if I'm here only for the Bit's sake.  
  
For someone that was so high on life a few moments ago I sure got a slap to the face right quickly. I won't leave her; I won't run away like I would like to, although I'm sure it would make pretty much everything better right now. Maybe once she's better and I can leave without a guilty conscious. But for now I just sit and wait. I can still taste the slight hint of her on my lips and I lick them unknowingly savoring what I will never have again. Her smell surrounds me, choking me, intoxicating me. I need to get out of here and I can only pray that the Watcher and the rest of the gang arrive soon. Her years of telling me to get away from her are finally sinking in, and for probably the third time in my life it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest. Torture was bad, but this is definitely worse.  
  
Finally the door opens and the first person I see is Dawn followed by the rest of the gang. The Watcher has already removed his jacket and before I can protest, I am being pushed from the sofa to make room for her friends. I stand quietly by the door waiting to make my exit as soon as I hear that she'll be all right. It seems like forever until the Watcher speaks and when he finally does I know that it's not good news.  
  
"Well, in all probability we won't be able to fix this until whatever influence she's under wears off and that could be um...anywhere between tonight and weeks from now. I...I just don't know. There are no telltale signs of what is affecting her, but my guess is that it has to do with the council."  
  
Everyone of the group turns their heads at this suggestion wondering what the council possibly could have to do with her sickness. I am the only one in the room besides Rupert that knows why the Council has anything to do with it. I can just see it now, the Watcher tells everyone why Buffy went to London and I become their next latest target for pin the stake on the Vampire. Great, that's just what I was hoping would happen today.  
  
"Uh, Giles...you wouldn't want to explain about the council would you?"  
  
"Not really" I hear him mutter before continuing "Buffy, as you all know went on a little trip recently. She went to see the Council in London."  
  
"What? Why? Why would she go to see them? It's not like they got together often for social lunches or anything."  
  
"Well," he began once again glancing in my direction as if in consideration of what he wanted to say "she um...she wanted to question them regarding the upcoming apocalypse." I can feel myself relax, thankful to the Watcher for lying and wondering why he did. He had no reason to save my hide and most likely would be looking for a cure on his own now that no one else knew what to look for to fix this. Must remember to thank him for that, I remind myself as I sit in one of the chairs closest to Buffy. She hasn't moved since they arrived and at least for her sake if not for mine, she's stopped talking about Angelus for the time being.  
  
I find that I've stopped listening to the conversation going on around me and I just sit watching her breathe. God she's beautiful, even if she is unconscious. I could never stop loving her, even if she's made it painfully clear time and time again that she wants nothing to do with me. I won't leave her though, even though I've thought differently most of the time since I heard she was still in love with the poof. She may not love me but she sure as hell is going to have to deal with me from now on. Besides, I'm not going to leave right before she's supposedly destined to die because of this new prophecy. Maybe through saving her I can prove to her that I really do love her. Maybe she'll actually believe it.  
  
"Hey!" someone shouts and I look up. Red is pointing in my general direction and I freeze. "Look guys, she's trying to say something. Her mouth is moving."  
  
Immediately everyone is hovering around us, trying desperately to hear what the Slayer might have to say although I can't even hear her over all the commotion. I listen carefully, leaning forward until I am directly above her. It's only the briefest of a whisper and I can barely even hear it but I do.  
  
"What is she saying?"  
  
"I can't make it out, it looks like she's saying something with an A." Willow Announces to the group.  
  
"Move over" Xander pushes his way to the front of the pile "I can read lips get out of the way." He watches for a few moments before deciding on a word. "She's saying Handle."  
  
"Handle?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh for Christ's sake!" I speak up "she's not saying handle, she's saying ANGEL. Angel got it? As in Angelus, her broody ex."  
  
"How do you know?" he immediately jumps up, looking into my face and I flash him a quick glimpse of my Vampire mask. He immediately backs down. Good, I really wouldn't have wanted to hurt him although I would have had no problem doing so.  
  
"Knock it off the both of you!" Rupert's voice booms through the room. "This isn't helping Buffy, it's taking time away from finding a cure for this. Spike, you have the enhanced hearing, we need you to listen to her, the rest of you be quiet."  
  
"Why would she be talking about Angel? I just don't understand." Red whispers to her girlfriend and Giles Shushes her.  
  
It seems that she's given up talking while everyone else was fighting but I sit on the sofa next to her waiting quietly. Nothing comes for a long while and then just as everyone is about to give up she speaks again. Angel, another Angel and we're getting nowhere. I lean down, whispering into her ear reassuring words.  
  
"You're going to be fine luv, I'm right here and not going anywhere."  
  
"I know you are." She gently responds as if we were the only two people in the world. "Right here."  
  
Well, that's at least something isn't it? Maybe if I can just keep talking to her I can bring her out of this. I ask her about where she is and she gives no reply, I ask her whom she's with and once again get an "ANGEL" in reply. That one word is starting to annoy me more that I could have ever thought.  
  
"Why is Angel there?"  
  
"He takes care of me."  
  
"Why does he have to take care of you?"  
  
"Because I'm dying."  
  
I'm taken aback by her answer and the look on the Watchers face tells me that this truly is a serious problem. If Buffy thinks she's dying in this alternate reality, then she really is in danger of dying here on her couch. We need to draw her out of this but for the life of me I can't think of how. Then a thought hits me and as much as I hate to consider it, for Buffy's sake I have to. I jump from the couch and amid heavy questions head to the kitchen. I punch the numbers into the phone without even thinking and when I hear the voice on the other line clear my throat. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I feel almost sick asking for his help but I do it nonetheless.  
  
"Buffy's sick." I hear my voice echo empty into the phone line. "And you're the only one who can reach her."  
  
He thankfully doesn't question my request but says instead "I'll be there right away."  
  
I hang up the phone shaking, I haven't talked to my sire in a long time, and I haven't minded the distance between us, but just knowing he can help her when I can't aches deep inside. I wonder what it is that makes him so much better than me and I slowly head back into the living room. Half a dozen faces greet me and I say nothing as first before settling myself back by Buffy's side. I stroke her face just daring someone to say something but no one does. If they want to laugh at a lovesick fool then let them do it, just not here, not now. Eventually I lift my face to theirs.  
  
"Angel's on his way."  
  
"You think that will help?" Red is the first one to ask. "Do you think he can do anything for her?"  
  
"Yes." Giles agrees "Yes, Spike may be right. If she's relying on him in this other reality, then maybe his being here in this reality can bring her back to us. He may be the only way."  
  
"Then what now?" Anya asks, "What do we do until then?"  
  
"We wait" I say and turn back to Buffy. "We wait." 


	15. Angel's Arrival

Disclaimer: None of it's mine except for Alethea, Sebastian, Laurea and anyone else that isn't part of the show.  
  
Author Note: Please, please review. It'll only take two seconds and it will make me feel liked.  
  
I certainly never expected Spike to do something like this for Buffy. I can see the look on his face as he returns to the room and he looks like death itself. Well, I guess that wouldn't be the best comparison seeing as how he actually is dead and all. Oh never mind, when you say that about humans it just seems to make the point that they look really, really bad. Defeated, depressed and in Spikes case alone and angry. I never saw how much he cared for her before and now I'm sort of thinking that we all should have. Seeing him there next to her trying to care for her the best way that he knows how is beginning to make me wish that I had been nicer to him in the past. I wish everyone had been nicer to him before now.  
  
"Angel's on his way" he grumbles before returning his attention to Buffy.  
  
I still can't understand why she would be thinking of Angel. Whether she's dreaming or caught in an alternate reality is yet to be seen but the one thing that I know is that she's not responding to anyone and she needs help. I'll try a few spells that may just figure out what happened but it will take awhile to get together everything I need. Maybe calling Angel was the wrong thing to do. I'm not sure he can really do anything to get through to her. He'll most likely just be another person fawning over her trying to help when he really can't. That and the fact that I'm not so sure Buffy would want him to be here. She hates showing her weakness to anyone most of all Angel. Also the fact that Spike and Angel hate each other and fight the majority of the time when they're together.  
  
"Do you think that will help?" I ask "Do you think he can do anything for her?"  
  
Giles agrees with Spike, that yes, perhaps his being here will be able to draw her from wherever she is since she's there with him anyway. He mentions something about it maybe being the only way but I'm not so sure that it is. Anya restlessly asks what we're going to do now and Spikes reply is hollow and sad.  
  
"We Wait."  
  
I have never heard two words spoken with so much defeat, so much frustration. I almost want to cry for him although I settle instead for grabbing my book bag from the table and turning to the door.  
  
"Where are you going Will?" I can hear Xanders voice behind me but I don't look back as I answer.  
  
"The Magic Shop."  
  
It only took a few minutes for me to get to the Shop although I've since been here for a long time and I really haven't found much regarding anything of interest. A few spells on mind access. Maybe I'll try one of those to at least find out what we're dealing with. Constant Unconsciousness or Coma's yield surprisingly little results especially because Unconscious People and Coma's usually aren't associated with verbalization.  
  
Giles said something about the council being at fault but he didn't elaborate on what he suspected. The Council wouldn't exactly want their Slayer incapacitated when the next apocalypse rolled around so it couldn't have been something that they would have done purposely right? Okay, what do we know? She's Unconscious but she can hear us, well, Spike at least, and she can respond to his questions although not to all of them. I find another book and begin flipping through its pages.  
  
A thought weasels its way into my mind and before I can push it aside I stop to think, flipping the book a few pages backward until I reach the heading Teleportation. It shouldn't even be possible, no one knows how to do it anymore but it just may, yes, it may answer a couple things. One, Buffy's arrival at the house was somewhat unexplainable. Dawn says she was only gone for a couple of seconds and never heard the door open once. Two, a side affect of teleportation is time discrepancies. Maybe Dawn had just gone upstairs to get a blanket. She could have thought that she was only gone for a few seconds when in reality she was gone for a lot longer than that. Third, maybe the fact that Buffy is in an Unconscious state is just a side affect of being teleported. I try to find that side affect listed anywhere here in this chapter but have no luck of doing so. Okay, well, at least the time thing fits. We just have to figure out a way to undo whatever the council did. Or at least figure out when this magic is supposed to wear off. I always love finding things.  
  
After gathering a few things that I may in the end need for spells I grab my bag, making sure I remembered a couple books that could come in helpful when explaining my theory. Well, half theory at least. As I pull the door closed behind me I think that maybe this will all work out okay. We'll have Buffy up and around in time for the prophecy and then we can definitely kick some major demon butt. I start my walk back to Buffy's rather happy with what I've found. See, Willow does rock.  
  
I can hear the car behind me and I move further to the curb hoping that I don't get splashed with water but instead of the car roaring past it stops beside me and it only takes me a moment to see who is behind the wheel. My first thought is that I couldn't possibly have taken that long at the Magic Shop. My second thought is, dear god here we go.  
  
"Hey Willow, need a ride?" He smiles at me and I can see why Buffy would have been so attracted to him in the first place. Not that I am, cause I have Tara, but he is nice looking, for a man. For a...oh give it up Will.  
  
"Sure." I nod and lower myself into the comfortable leather seats. "It's good to see you Angel. It's been awhile."  
  
"Sure has," he peels away from the curb "What's wrong with Buffy?"  
  
He sounds really concerned and I wonder to myself why I thought he wouldn't be. I relay the whole story in the span of a few minutes knowing that he'll be filled in more so when we get back to Revello. I leave out the part about Dawn going to Spike for help. I also leave out the part about Spike standing constant vigil over Buffy. He really doesn't need to know that and I really don't want to tell him. I do tell him about what she's managed to tell us about what's happening though. About her constant asking for him and also about the part where he's taking care of her because she's dying. Of course, I clarify that we don't really know if she's dying but since it's Buffy we have a pretty good idea that she wouldn't make something like that up if she weren't.  
  
"That's why we called you. We figured that since you're her link wherever she is, she'll respond to you here."  
  
"And Spike?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Spike, what does he have to do with any of this?"  
  
"It's a long story that I'm sure you'll understand eventually."  
  
I don't want to say anything else about the situation. I don't know if Angel is aware of Spikes feelings for Buffy or not, but I sure am not going to be the one filling him in on the whole thing. Angel throws me a look of interest rather than confusion before heading for the porch. I am by his side in moments, and take a deep breath before throwing open the front door to face everyone.  
  
Author Note: I am starving for reviews. If you like this story even a little bit please let me know. It helps me update sooner too:) Thanks -Grace 


	16. The Fight Begins

Disclaimer: Joss and countless others own and distribute the actual BTVS. I just change things around to where I like it.  
  
Authors Note: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Reviews were much appreciated.  
  
Neo: This is a Buffy/Spike story although to warn you there is a little Angel/Buffy but it's essential to the story line and I think you'll miss a lot if you skip the parts with him in it. It will be worth it in the end. P.S. I'm not particularly fond of Buffy/Angel either. Please keep reading.  
  
Theoneandonlygurl: The reason that Angel's the link has a lot to do with the whole story and definitely will be revealed in due time. Thanks so much for your review. -Grace  
  
Since Willow left things have been pretty quiet. Giles, Dawn, Harris and his girl have gone to the kitchen to formulate some sort of plan involving Angels presence when he finally does arrive, and I've been left here with Red's girlfriend. She's very shy and I'm thankful that I'm not really burdened with coming up with something to say. In the hours it's been since Red left I think that we've said perhaps five things; I don't exactly mind. My concentration has been focused on Buffy.  
  
She hasn't said anything since the last "Angel" and that was about forty- five minutes ago. Can't say that I miss hearing that name. It's enough that I'll have to deal with the real thing soon, I don't need to know about what's running through her mind in regards to him. Was bad enough to have to call on him for help in the first place, I don't want to be talking about him now. Said Vampire seems to be stuck in my head though so it really doesn't make it that much better. Talk about him or think about him, it's all the same. I wonder when it was the last time that I saw him. It's been awhile, and if we were a normal family I would say too long.  
  
I'm lost in my thoughts, barely noticing everyone's return from the kitchen. I look up into blank faces and my first thought is well, it doesn't look like they found much.  
  
"Find something?"  
  
"Not much, there's surprisingly little written about unexplained coma like trances. At least most of the time when she's unconscious it's because she's fallen from a building, or been hit by a gravestone. Something of the sort, but there's really nothing that explains this. Is Willow back yet?"  
  
"Does it look like she's back?" I ask annoyed. What am I? Everyone's babysitter? "I'm going to say that you'd have been the first one she would have approached upon her return so uh, no."  
  
"Okay, I get your point Spike. No need for forceful words."  
  
I can't help but chuckle, forceful words. He hasn't begun to hear forceful words. Maybe he'll understand what that phrase really means when Angelus arrives. I'm really somehow doubting that his being here is going to be just a day in the park. If it weren't for Buffy, I wouldn't even be sticking around for it.  
  
"What's the plan watcher?"  
  
"To be honest Spike, there really isn't one. We've been online for hours trying to find something that even slightly resembles this and the closest we've come is a lucid dream. Of course, she would be able to wake from one of those so we're still as clueless as we were four hours ago."  
  
"Can't we just shake her really hard?" The Wanker actually has the nerve to ask "Maybe that would help."  
  
"Xander, we've gone over this before. If Spike's shaking her can't wake her up, then our doing the same isn't going to make any sort of difference. No, we'll wait for Willow, perhaps she's found something."  
  
"Yeah, Will always comes through."  
  
I sure as hell hope so; I'm getting tired of the drama of the entire situation. If this had happened a couple years ago I would have had no problem with waking her up with violence but now, I wouldn't do it. Not that a nice little spot of violence isn't needed every once in awhile, but now is definitely not the time. Besides, what sort of man beats a woman when she's asleep or unconscious or whatever the hell she is. I was that man but I'm not anymore, I love her too much for that.  
  
"Isn't it about time for Angel to get here? It has been awhile since we called." Tara quietly voices her question.  
  
"He should be here soon. If everyone could just be patient, I'm sure we'll have Buffy back with us within the hour."  
  
"You won't have to wait long."  
  
I can feel the tingle throughout my skin, I imagine this is somewhat Buffy's spider sense must be like. The cold shiver running along my spine. I know that feeling, I know that presence and I can smell him as if he were standing directly beside me. The whole of it gives me a huge rush, it always has. I hear the car doors slam outside.  
  
"Why's that?" The Watcher asks  
  
Car doors? Two doors. I wonder who it is that he brought with him. I wonder why he would have brought anyone with him. I'm surprised that he would even want anyone to know he was on his way here to Sunnydale. He's supposed to be so high and mighty, completely over her but that's obviously not true because he wouldn't have rushed to be here by her side if he were. I hear the weight on the wooden stairs outside, causing them to strain and stretch under the added weight. One step, Two...  
  
"Because he's here."  
  
The third step and the fourth before I hear his hand on the doorknob. I too have to brace myself for his entrance. I swallow hard, waiting for the moment I knew would always come. I knew that there would always be another time in our un-lives when we would see each other again. I knew that I couldn't stay away from him forever. It's only a brief moment before the door is thrown open and I look out onto the two forms of Angel and...Willow?  
  
"Hey guys," she closes the door behind both of them "Angel picked me up. Nice of him huh?"  
  
Not surprisingly the poof is already at Buffy's side, holding her hands in his. Didn't even bother to say hello to the Slayer's friends. He acts as if he never left and as if this is the only place he should be. He gently strokes her face, and I can feel a lump rise up in my throat. This is completely wrong; he shouldn't need to be here for her to get well again. I hate that he has this to hold over my head. The fact that he can save her when I can't. It's not from lack of trying, I can tell you that.  
  
"It's worse than you made it sound Spike." He finally looks up after what seems like forever. "You should have called sooner."  
  
"For someone who's only just arrived, you're really surprisingly insightful. It's too bad you haven't been here for the last four hours. Then you'd really know how bad it is." I'm fucking angry now. "And you know, the worst part of it is that she can't seem to get you out of her head. Angel this, Angel that. It's enough to make a person sick. I know I am."  
  
Instantly he's on his feet, inches away from me. Eyes staring dangerously into mine just daring me to say just one more word. He looks me up and down gauging the threat I pose to him. It's been such a long time; it really is amazing how nothing ever changes. I think he'll always be the same each time I see him. That ridiculous hair of his, his dark eyes, generally somber tone, his crazed temper. Pathetic. And of course, blaming me right away for something that has nothing to do with the situation. It never fails; in his eyes I'll always be the one person that could never measure up. God I hate him.  
  
"You want to pick a fight with me then do it," he growls "be not now, not here."  
  
I won't fight with him now; I won't beat the shit out of him here. I won't jeopardize the woman I love. Of course that doesn't mean that I don't want to hurt him, it just means that I won't. I am the first one to move and I step around him, returning to Buffy's side under Angels careful watch, wishing I could talk to her, even if for a moment, to tell her once again how much I love her, but I know I don't dare. If Angel found out now, if I even dared to chance it, then we would never get anything accomplished today and Buffy would be lost to us for even longer. She'd be lost to me. There will be time for everything later. I can feel his eyes burning holes in the back of my head, his glare is almost deadly, but I do get some satisfaction in the fact that he left her a long time ago, she isn't with him, and I'm making him incredibly jealous at this very moment.  
  
Willow launches immediately into what her suspicions are, about Teleportation being a suspect because of time issues. Giles quickly confirms her suspicions by calling all of the local airports. They have no record what so ever of a Buffy Summers flying either in or out anytime recently. That leaves really only one option, and Red beams at the thought that she possibly could have solved this problem. Of course, that still doesn't take care of the other issue at hand, the fact that Buffy's back doesn't actually mean Buffy's back.  
  
It's almost funny in a way. Two master Vampires fighting over a Slayer. What a twisted sense of humor the Powers that Be have, to play with our lives as if we were puppets. I wonder how Angel thinks he's going to fix this. I sure as hell don't know but I'm not going to let anyone see that. A few words have been exchanged between the poof and Rupert and it seems that things are about to begin. I feel a hand on my shoulder, Angel's invitation for me to move. I look up into his face, completely unable to read what I see there. For the first time in years I realize that I really don't know this man at all anymore. Back when we were all together years ago I could have told you everything about what he was thinking or feeling with just a glance at his face, now, not much comes through to me. I do move away from her, but only just enough to intercede if she is in any way hurt or in pain.  
  
"I guess you could just try talking to her first, and we'll go from there."  
  
Angel nods before settling in beside my Slayer. I listen intently as he talks to her, just basically at first without any reply from her, and then he hits on something. The fact that he's the one doing the asking hasn't escaped her as I had somewhat hoped. And she does actually reply to his questions regarding the two of them. Every question he asks is eventually answered and that slow happy smile on her face tears me up inside. Angel too is smiling in reply to their conversation. That smile makes me want to let the demon loose. Questions of times and places, all answered and I find myself interested in the fact that she thinks she's somewhere in the future. An upcoming Apocalypse to be exact. Possibly the Prophecy to occur in a couple weeks? Maybe, it's hard to tell. A house, she's in a house, in a room with no windows and she's of course, there with Angel. She reveals to him, and to everyone else in the room, that they were together. Physically together. Great, I was kind of hoping that that would go unnoticed. "Buffy, can you see me now?"  
  
"Yeah, you're sitting next to me on the bed. Is this some kind of game? All the questions? Because I'm really starting not to like it, can't we just get to the kissing?"  
  
"Soon, soon." He agrees. "I just want to talk to you now okay?"  
  
"'Kay. But hurry it up, I don't feel so good."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"My chest hurts, and my head too. I'm so hot I just feel like I'm going to explode. And I keep thinking about things that I've never done, people I don't know."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Like somebody's invading my head. These aren't my thoughts."  
  
"Whose are they then?"  
  
"How am I supposed to know. I didn't say to anybody, here, look! Come inhabit my mind."  
  
Giles looks in my direction with a scowl on his face. I guess I'm completely behind this then aren't I? She did technically invite me into her mind once she attached my soul to hers, but I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't suffer because of it. Looks like we do know why she's in this state then. All my fault and Rupes and I are the only ones who know about it.  
  
"So tell them to get out and lets go. You want to see the sun anyway don't you?"  
  
"Yeah, this room is ugly without windows to see the sunrise. But no we can't go, I'll die if we do."  
  
"No, I'll die if we do."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The sun, I can't be in the Sun." he insists.  
  
"No, I can't be in the sun." Buffy insists. "You of all people should know that."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because silly, I'm a Vampire." 


	17. More Problems

Disclaimer: None of the BTVS characters are mine. I make nothing off of them.  
  
"I'm just guessing here, but don't you think she's a little confused? Cause we're standing here and um, she's obviously not a vampire. See?" Xander quickly grabbed hold of her wrist "Pulse. A weak one, but still a pulse."  
  
"Yes, Xander we see." Giles reassured everyone that indeed Buffy was alive and well. " We have to take what we know of the situation and work something out."  
  
"Wait." Angel's words were hurried and everyone immediately turned to face him. How like him to take advantage of the situation. "Why can't we do some sort of spell?"  
  
"Do you honestly not think that we've thought of that? Because I'm pretty sure we've been through every possible scenario here and nothing seems to appear that it will work." Xander speaks up and for once I'm actually happy to hear his input. "God I wish she'd just wake up."  
  
"Yeah that seems to be helping."  
  
"I don't see your being here making a huge difference. You think you're all important but you're really not. Whoever said you needed to be called needs to be shot."  
  
"Amen to that."  
  
"What are you agreeing to? I was bashing you too."  
  
"Hey, as long as Spike's out of the picture you can bash me all you want."  
  
I had been patiently waiting, sitting quietly watching Buffy's chest rise and fall in an uneven rhythm trying to block out the ridiculous banter slowly enveloping the group. Maybe calling Angel had been a mistake; maybe even telling him about Buffy had been a mistake. Too late now, maybe if he'd stop fighting and start trying to figure out a way to get Buffy back we'd be better off. I feel guilty enough over the fact that I most likely am the cause of her current predicament. I don't need to hear about how much trouble I'm causing the rest of them. Besides, no wonder Buffy doesn't want to wake up. I wouldn't want to wake up to this either. Finally I have enough of the squabbling and jump to my feet.  
  
"You..." I point at Harris "Sit the fuck down. And you..." I turn to Angel "do something. I didn't call you here to argue with everyone. I called you here to help her and that's what you're going to do. Somehow you're the link between her world and ours and you're going to find out how and why and what to do to bring her back. I don't care if it takes ten minutes and I don't care if it takes ten hours or ten years. Now sit down and shut up the both of you. And you Angelus are going to keep talking to her. And because you and I seem to be the only ones that she's responding to we're going to stay right here, the rest of the group is going to leave the room and vacate to the kitchen. No discussion, now go!"  
  
For once Angel has nothing to say and I smile to myself that I finally got the last word in. I look at him and can see the rage settled on his features, but he's keeping it inside and I can't be grateful enough. Years ago an outburst like that would never have been tolerated and most likely I would have received a strong beating because of it.  
  
"Thanks..." is the first word from his mouth minutes later and I can't help but gape at him. "Not for the yelling necessarily, but for reminding me what I'm here for. Nothing is worth risking Buffy's life. Nothing."  
  
I nod but cannot find the words to reply. Even if I could speak what would I say? It's quiet now without the group hanging over our shoulders. I can hear each breath the Slayer takes, each sigh she gives, every noise she makes. Both of us are unsure as to what steps to take even though I'm the first one to speak to her. "Buffy, it's Spike, we don't know how to help." I take her hand in mine "Show me how to help you."  
  
She doesn't say anything even though I hold her tightly willing her to answer me this one time. Especially in front of Angel. How I would love to show him up just this once. But then again, I really shouldn't expect much should I? I'm not the one she needs now. I'm not her link to this life and it kills me inside. It burns me not to be the one that can reach her.  
  
"Spike." I'm pulled from my self-destructive thoughts by Angel's voice in my ear. "Something's happening."  
  
I immediately notice the change. Her color has returned and her pulse is once again strong. I can hear the blood pounding forcefully throughout her body. Something is happening but yet at the same time, nothing has changed. She's still as unconscious as she was minutes ago. Before I can react his arms are around her, holding her still body close against his chest. Holding her close to him. I try not to notice the smiles spread across both of their faces although it's impossible not to. It's almost as if she's holding onto him as well. I clench my jaw, jealous of her reaction to him. Wanting to crush him here and now but knowing that I cannot if I want her back. I find myself furious. I watch a still unconscious Buffy, wondering what it will take to get her back to me.  
  
"Buffy, it's me, Angel. I need you again, I need you with me." I know this is no song and dance. He means these words. "I messed up, I did, but that was a long time ago and I've had so much time to think about us. You need to come back to me; I need you to show me how I can help you. You need to show me how to get you back. I love you Buffy, I always have, always will."  
  
Suddenly a bright light, a blue neon light throughout the room, surrounding the two of them. I rush forward but am thrown back from it with such force that I hit a wall across the room. Immediately everyone I'd banished to the kitchen have returned. I lift myself from the floor, and wander immediately back to where Buffy and Angel remain enveloped in blue light, holding each other tightly. Only this time I see that Buffy is no longer unconscious, but wide-eyed and awake. She catches my eyes and once again I charge the light only to find that this time I pass right through it. Catching Angel's arm as I pass, I pull the two out of the glow and onto the floor. Immediately the house begins to shake, the light screaming in its own strange way. Things begin to fall from the walls and shelves and as quickly as it started it is finished. The light vanishes and the room returns to dark.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Someone inquires but I have no idea whom, immediately I am by Buffy's side brushing the hair from her face, searching for any sign that she's not okay. For the first time in months she seems distant, hard to read.  
  
"Hey guys," she jumps up from the carpet pulling Angel behind her. "What's happening? Is there a reason everybody's hanging out on the floor? Some new trend I don't know about?"  
  
"Buffy luv, don't you remember anything?" I ask. Something is strange but I can't quite place it until I notice that she's still holding Angel's hand. I rush forward and push him roughly. "What the hell did you do?"  
  
I fist to the face is what I receive and not from the person I was expecting.  
  
"You touch my boyfriend again and you'll get more than a fist to the face."  
  
I back up immediately, scanning the faces of everyone in the group. There isn't a face that isn't shocked and I can see why. Her Boyfriend? Angel isn't her boyfriend and hasn't been for years. Buffy's awake yes, but she surely isn't back. Something has gone seriously wrong. And here we thought we had problems before. Apparently not. 


	18. Sylvia

Disclaimer: None of the BTVS characters are mine and I make no money from this story.  
  
Authors Note: Thanks for the reviews to the last chapter. Extremely appreciated they are. Belle-lily-27 thank you for your review, it's what got me writing again. Kargrif, Angel really is an essential part of the story but keep the faith I promise you this is a Spike/Buffy story. Malfeus thanks for your review; I've never received anything like it before. It makes me feel like I'm really doing an okay job. All reviews make me feel that way though, and also make me update sooner (hint, hint). Thanks and enjoy this short chapter -Grace  
  
"I really can't help it Sebastian. You'll simply have to wait your turn. I am having way too much fun with this."  
  
Alethea turns to face her childe and smiles. She has been watching everything that has been happening, everything that Spike is seeing. From the second Spike left his crypt to the arrival of Angel, to Buffy's awakened state she has seen it all.  
  
"You said I could play with them for a little while."  
  
"Did I? I often forget. Forgive me Sebastian for leading you on but I simply cannot resist a good bit of chaos."  
  
Sebastian sinks to the floor in defeat, knowing that he should never have trusted the word of his sire again. He loves her too much, he trusts her too much for his own good. 'Of course she'll never let me play with them,' he thinks to himself. 'She never lets me do anything.'  
  
"I heard that!" she snaps "I'd hate for you to be punished again already so soon, have you entirely forgotten that I can hear every little minute thing that goes through your brain? Besides, how can you ask me to stop so soon when I am just beginning. Poor William, all of these thoughts of abandonment, love, sadness, hate and anger. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't attack Angel again, but then again, perhaps he has the right."  
  
"Well if he does attack Angel and kill him, you'll be the one to blame for it. You set this up, therefore you'll be responsible."  
  
"Oh Sebastian, its all a bit of fun. Not one gets hurt and I get to destroy peoples lives."  
  
"I wouldn't call that no one getting hurt."  
  
"Spike will get over it. Besides, maybe this will be the one thing to make him realize he shouldn't have fallen in love with a Slayer. If she's just going to leave him because her so called true love returns."  
  
"She didn't leave him, you messed with her head, you erased her memory, you caused this rift between them when now is the time when we need them together the most. Especially now only days before the prophecy is due to occur."  
  
"And what if I did, it's only for good cause. After all, I have things planned for both Spike and Buffy that no one could have ever dreamed. The world waits for my command; the Powers that be have no control over this now. Especially now that I am inside their little group, now that I can see it all. Besides, the erasure is only temporary. She'll recover in a few days and remember every so-called wonderful thing that she and Spike shared. But it will be too little too late. With the Slayer believing that Angel is her boyfriend and defending him against everyone that says differently, we've got her just where we want her. And we've got Spike all alone, jealous and in a rage. Just waiting for someone to come along to offer him something he can't refuse. Revenge."  
  
"Is that why you called for Sylvia?"  
  
"She is the only one that can reach William now. I have tried and failed. Now it is Sylvia's turn. After all, she does know him better than anyone else in this world. I have no doubt that she can turn Spike into what he once was. A brilliant killer, a tormented and untouchable master vampire. How wonderfully this all worked out in our favor." Her voice suddenly grows cold "Dear Slayer did bring this all on herself anyway you know, she insisted on going to London, demanded that she receive Williams soul." Immediately her voice had become cheerful again. "Gave us just the loophole we needed to get to her."  
  
"It sure is an amazing coincidence that Angel showed up at this particular moment isn't it?"  
  
"My dear Sebastian, Angel's being brought here at this point in time is no mere coincidence, it's part of the plan."  
  
She turns once again to face the scene playing out in front of her eyes, in front of Spikes eyes.  
  
"Now go find Sylvia, it's important that I speak to her within the hour." 


End file.
